realizations

** yesterday was a really good day for me. wasnt able to understand why until i was telling therese about it at lunch time earlier. Told her about my chat with 'him' and figured out why i felt so good about it after. Kasi while i was chatting with him, i had neither an ounce of bitterness nor an iota of hope in me, just a smile on my face that simply meant it was good to hear from him again.

And THAT is more than a big step. THAT is a closed door. TAH DAH!!!

** i realized that, of all my family and friends, the hardest person i will have to say goodbye to when i leave for spain is larry. just thinking about it now breaks my heart na.

** i will never ever mess with my hair again. i stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself every night waiting for my bangs to grow. cutting it is probably the only thing i regret doing in life. Im sorry tracy.

** the most frustrating thing in the world for me is being helpless at helping. i want to help out more but resources are scarce.

** youth is wasted on the young. money is wasted on the rich. power is wasted on the powerful. and sexy bodies are wasted on the ugly. SOMETIMES.

** i'de rather be decorative.

** i feel like im at the airport lounge, just waiting for my flight to take off. That's how im gonna feel until our boat sails off on december 10. everything from now til then is wait-time, waste-time.