when did i lose it exactly?

im talking about my humanity. i seem to have very little left.

deesj is genuinely affected by all the flash floods up north that left 300 dead. affected enough to feel guilty about the peking duck we had last night. affected enough to organize a group of people to help out.

am i saddened by it? yes.
am i willing to do what i can to help? yes.

but that's it. i dont feel any more than that. i cant offer any more but that.

what is this monster that i have become?