let this weekend please end

what i dont understand is every weekday all i do is mope and whine and bitch about all the things that have to be done and then pray for the weekend to come as quick as it can. And when it finally gets here (actually about to leave again in about fifteen hours), i have no friggin clue what to do with it.

Yesterday was spectacularly uneventful for me. Convicts in isolation had probably accomplished more. Hell, people in a coma probably had more fun.

i did see 'love actually' again. That could very well be the highlight of my weekend.

Saw 50 first dates also which made me realize two things:

One is if an adam sandler flick can make me cry then i maybe in a more pathetic state than i care to admit.

And two is that drew barrymore is every bit as adorable as i am. Good for her! (humility is not exactly my best virtue)

Also saw honey. lets not even waste time talking about that.

and then came what usually is the most difficult part of my day. Unlike joel, i cant rely on prescription medication to let the zzzzzs in because, well.... because i have none. So what science cant deliver, the subconscious usually rams in.

First, not so happy thoughts that i consciously try to fight off during the day creeps in and knocks me down numb.

Then followed by thoughts of what-ifs and what could be's that eventually bore me to sleep.

This has been my two-step road to REM for the past years.

Does not exactly result in the soundest of sleeps.

Anyway, the next two weekends will probably not be as bad. Tracy's birthday salubong is on friday. And saturday i go to laguna for the village open day. Cant wait to see the kids again. One of whom is this absolutely brilliant and beautiful girl named hannah who said to me one time during practice "tita maite, tita mitzi tried to do the moose song but she didnt do it as well as you did." Hay..... i love the honesty of children.

And the weekend following is my tuguegarao trip with riya and leslie when i attempt to conquer my fear of death and drowning by literally testing the waters of cagayan valley. Will be kayaking and white water rafting. cool huh? I hope to God i wont be having my period yet then. or that it would be over by then.

I think its my curse to bleed on special gigs. Probably some ritualistic rite of passage dictated by my unconscious to my body.

ah well.... such is.