sirang plaka

for some reason, been singing this song all day.

uso pa ba ang harana
marahil ikaw ay nagtataka
sino ba 'tong mukhang gago
nagkandarapa sa pagkanta
at sisintonado sa kaba
may'rong dalang mga rosas
suot na may ma-ong na kupas
at naryan pa ang barkada
naka porma naka barong
sa awiting daig pa ang minus one
at sing-along

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibubohos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
para sa'yo

di ba parang isang sine
isang pilikulang romantiko
di ba't ikaw ang bidang artista
at ako ang 'yong leading man
sa estoryang nagwawakas
sa pag-ibig na wagas

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibubohos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
par sa 'yo

january 29, 2000

the date deserves remembering. except i almost forgot.

oh well. that's life. you come. you go.

the calm before the storm

The past three days have been total chaos for me. i've been running around like a sprinter, answering phone calls 5 at a time, missing meals, etc. etc. You get the drill.

Today, a day before two deadlines which i wont be here to supervise because i will be in Subic, was alarmingly quiet and panic-free. Which, of course, makes me panic more.

The voice of wednesday addams keeps playing over and over in my head....

BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID.

the situation

Yesterday, i had my first meal at 9:30 PM. All i had to sustain me throughout the day was around 15-20 pcs. of peanuts and nothing more. let me say that again - AND NOTHING MORE! i did not even have enough time to finish the whole happy peanuts pack.

Today naman, cornicks instead of peanuts - mga ganon rin - 15 to 20 pcs. Im waiting for culax to have my first meal for the day, which i refuse to have alone cos pity naman ets kung ganon.

hindi na rin siguro tama ito.

there was a moment of silence there...

i was answering a quiz this morning on which member of the endless am i. one of the questions was "where do you live?"

One of the choices and the one i eventually went with was:

I DON'T REMEMBER, BUT I'M SURE IT WAS PRETTY AND HAPPY.

ang ganda non for me man.

postscript: i am DESTRUCTION nga pala

sana i am ingrid bergman nalang

"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

my glass is half empty

its the middle of the month na.

which means dalawang linggo ko nang nagagamit ang one-month membership ko sa golds.

which means dalawang linggo nalang tapos wala na sya.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

hey ets, wattup?

Sabi ni God sa bagong taon "hoy, ayan si ets oh, bigyan nyo nga ng gagawin." So eto namang si 2005, since pa-impress pa kasi kabago-bago, sabi nya "opo father. opo."

On my plate now;

1. A centerspread advertorial, half page ad, and an event for the toothpaste brand
2. A 16 page supplement and a week-long event for a federation
3. A communication plan for a company that promises a better life
4. An irate client who wants me to deliver more, more, more.
5. The impossible task of getting a provincial university on the front pages
6. An event for the bank downstairs
7. A freaking team building weekend with the officemates

Not on my plate now;
1. Animal flesh
2. Nicotine

NO TO BREAK-UPS!!!

i dont think i can stand another break-up, even if its not my own.

last week, i found out that couple friends were on the rocks. yesterday, brad and jen split up na rin.

I SAY NO MORE!!!
NO MORE BREAK-UPS!!!
THE PAIN STOPS WITH ME!!!

NO FOOD WITH A FACE

that's essentially what i tell people when they ask me what diet im on now. nothing that walks, flies or swims.

last night was a real test. had dinner with dar (who's here for the holidays from new york), jenni, v, maurits (v's baby), annie and tristan (annie's cute little boy)at this beautiful haven of beautiful things called antonios.

the menu, of course, was beautiful.

lamb chops this, foie gras that, scallops here, prawns there, hayyyyy.......

so when the waiter finally asked me "ma'am, what would your entree be?" (yes, the service, too, was beautiful), i asked him if they had anything that didnt have meat in it. i was secretly crushed when he said they did.

i had the wild mushroom risotto and while it could have used another 5 minutes in the cooker, it was sarap na rin. the salad was delish. as was the soup. the double chocolate souffle, unfortunately, didnt quite come up to par with the rest of the meal.

all in all, it was a dinner that was definitely worth the trip to tagaytay.

*****************************************************************

while i have temporarily given up food with faces (at least for the next two months), i have some qualms about wearing the 'vegetarian' label. I can't quite claim that i am one without feeling like a big-ass poser. kung baga, i am but a foreigner in these green shores but not a citizen......yet.

*****************************************************************

i have also stopped smoking as of jan. 3. As have some of my friends. deesj, adi and even (gasp) jenni.

jenni quitting smoking and me giving up meat (even if its just two months)could be an indication that hell is freezing over as i blog.

conversation fillers

i'm not big on small talk. i'm actually very good at it but its not one of my favorite things in the world.

there are two fall-back conversation pieces that i pull out of my hat when i've had enough talk about what people do for a living.

First, if you were to die tomorrow, what would your last 7 course meal on earth be?

Second, what would you rather win:
- an oscar in your category of choice
- a grammy in your category of choice
- an olympic gold medal in your sport of choice
- an nba championship in any team of your choice (for boys) or Miss Universe
(for girls)
- a presidential election in your country of choice (i only actually added this last saturday when i asked leoy, adi and bachii this question)

i find that these two delightful and entertaining topics can be stretched for as long as necessary.

anyway, my answers:

7 course meal.

okay, im really not sure what comprises a seven course meal so i just made up my combination. also, there is a right here to dictate where the food will be coming from

soup: this fantastic orgasmic beef consomme with some pate-ish jelly-like substance that we had at Chef Landico's place at mona's despedida shindig.

cold appetizer: kilawin na oysters

hot appetizer: gambas from minggoys with bread to wipe the oil and garlic bits off the plate

salad: ceasars salad from the old marios

seafood entree: gigis chilean sea bass from C2

meat entree: my sisters pork adobo (cheap and babaw, i know, but its really the best)

dessert: the bread pudding with orange sorbet from le souffle with the dominican coffee that my tita serves.

Winning things

I would like to be the president of the United States of America. My decision has nothing to do with the west wing and everything to do with the american president. i want to be andrew shephard.

on a lighter note

got this fabulous new year's text from therese last night which she stole from Neil Gaiman:

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And i hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

Aye aye.

jalosjos musmos

i am so bothered.

when i was in law school, a sophomore chick was frantically going around the building gathering signatures for a petition that was to be submitted to malacanang to stop the execution of convicted rapist leo echagaray. she got a very detached and rather icy "NO" when she asked me if i wanted to sign.

leo echagaray raped his 10 year old step daughter. a child who looked up to him and probably considered him as her father. the abuse went beyond physical, it was an abuse of trust and confidence. how will this poor girl ever trust anybody else again if the man who's suppose to be taking care of her violated her.

don't get me wrong. im all for second chances and humane and just punishment. But grown men who rape and torture children should surely be exceptions.

At the risk of sounding like a high and mighty self righteous fuck - I take personal offense that a man who finds satisfaction in bullying a helpless little girl is allowed to breathe the same air i do. Should a beastly thing ever happen to my child or someone i love, i swear to God I am not gonna rest until that man is bleeding pus.

calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. masyado akong nang-gagalaiti dito.

when i read somewhere this morning that Jalosjos' (another sick mother fucker) mother was appealing to the president for a pardon, i first thought it was appaling and then i thought it was laughable.

i also assumed, of course, that there was no chance in hell that this was going to be granted.

cut to cut to me coming to the office from a meeting and hearing my officemate say "This GMA has really gone crazy. first she lets erap go and now she's considering pardoning jalosjos"

HHUUUWWWWWAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????

apparently, this midget we put into office is thinking about granting him a conditional pardon. what if it were lilu or luli or whatever your daughter's name is that was raped ha?

My god he raped an eleven year old child, eleven!, what is there to think about?

politics is finding its serpentine way again to corrupt what is already a very corrupted philippine justice system. and this midget is probably too weak or too scared to put a stop to it.

i am really so bothered.

I've been to paradise

but, yes, i've never been to me.

while, undeniably, i've been incredibly indulgent of my selfishness and narcissism, i've just realized that i've never really taken time off to enjoy MY company a little more.

that the fact that i constantly, purposely choose to surround myself with friends or family 24/7 tells a lot about how scared i am to be just with myself.

well im gonna spend a little more time with me this year. after all, in the end, I'm all i have anyway so might as well enjoy me.

so this year, i will set out to do things by myself that i've never done before (with my word being fresh and all).

on the list;

1. go to museums
2. lounge at a cafe with a cup of coffee and a good book
3. lunch at a new place and order something i've never eaten before
4. take classes (it might as well be spanish lessons)
5. more yoga
6. watch a play
7. just get on a bus or a ferry and go where it takes me (well right now, i see the bus taking me to san benito farm in batangas - fingers crossed)

hey, if you have any more suggestions, please feel free to add to my list.