Saturday, December 31, 2005


I keep on waiting for inspiration to hit so i can write something profound about my india experience. But, truth is, while I'm already starting to feel the magic of the country, it hasnt penetrated my soul just yet. And until it does, I will save any insights and realizations for another day.

In the meantime, I am in the land of Kumars. They look alike, they talk alike, they dress alike, but, no, im glad to say that they dont all smell alike. Some observations;

1. They love to shake their heads when talking.
2. They sure love their eyeliner. Miski meron pa yung from kahapon, papatungan pa rin nila ng bago ngayon.
3. Yung iba sa kanila, kung baga sa charcoal painting, hindi suabe ang blending ng kulay sa mukha nila. Nag ju-jump from dark ash gray to mild tan ang pigments nila ng walang pasabi.

im so sleepy na.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Im in Singapore right now

Airport lang naman. But still, another country.

Made a super stupid request kanina sa Singapore Airlines, I needed to chew something cos we were landing na and my ears were about to explode. So I asked the F.A. for gum.

Mali. Maling-mali. Number 1 enemy nga pala nila yon.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Some theories here


7 months ago, while walking to 719 to hang with adi, two men jumped me from behind and did that thing that kung fu peeps do to their kalabans to knock them down cold and raped me under the skyway. They were decent enough to clean me after and fix the 'scene of the crime' to make it seem that I just fainted. They were however not responsible enough to put on a condom.

I then wake up thinking that I did just faint and went on my way.

As a result, I am now 7 months pregnant.


When I had the lumps in my armpit taken out years ago, the doctors were not able to remove it completely. The cyst has since fallen from the pits and found new home in my stomach where it bided its time waiting for the day when it will manifest itself as a tumor of hydrocephalic proportions.

That time has come.


Again, 7 months ago, strapped for cash and caught in a moment of desperation, I walked the streets of makati av. selling my sex for money. One brave man bought. So I had sex with him, unprotected at that, because I didnt want to waste more money on rubbers.

I was immediately filled with shame and guilt right after that I gave all the money to charity and blocked it from my memory completely.

I am now 7 months pregnant.


Immaculate conception and now 7 months pregnant.


Kanin. ang daming kanin sa mundo.

*Above are my theories on why my stomach is suddenly the biggest thing on earth.

Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

my geads!!!

Lagi nalang akong gutom. At hindi cute na gutom ha. Talagang "fuck! hwag mo akong kausapin. walang nakakatawa sa mundo as of this point" kind of gutom.


Last night, we had our christmas party at the top of the citi. We being jenni, veronica, allan, irene, maebelle, marex, pam, kathleen and myself. An odd mix of people really, each coming from a different psychographics profile.

We have (in no particular order):

an extremely talented but nevertheless neurotic ex-suicidal artist;

a wonderful friend, responsible daughter, glamourous dresser and a devout catholic who shoots up every now and then;

a devoted wife and mother whose hearty laugh can drown all the crying in the world and the passionate photographer who triggers her laughter (and everybody elses);

a director who will show up with angel wings at your birthday just to make you smile and who listens to you with the most fascinated look in his eyes everytime you say something no matter how mundane;

the baby sister of a dear friend who can make a 120 peso ukay dress look like haute couture;

a food fanatic and a frustrated jenni-matchmaker who brought jenni out of her friday-night hibernation;

a fashion designer who i just really met last night but who seems to be a really nice chick;

and, lastly, an overweight vegetarian with a migraine who cannot wrap gifts for shit.

Anyway, although the food wasnt particularly impressive and the view was downright disappointing (the makati skyline pala is really pandak noh?), the company was fabulous and good conversation and laughter flowed abundantly.

So fun times guys. fun times.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


There. The word is out.

There's a whole lot of world to see. Show me.

Sige na please universe.

I am a vegetarian because I'm afraid aliens might eat me someday

That isn’t how it started of course. I didn’t just wake up one morning and become weird. It took a while.

It began, you see, with a combination of two things; desperation and a book. A book that said ‘hey you blood type A you, vegetable – good, carbs – good, meat – bad.”

And so on January 2, 2005, I summoned the culinary goddess in me and created what was to be my last meat dish – lamb kalderata. I spared nothing. Choice lamb cuts stewed to a creamy-tomatoey-spicy perfection and I had it for breakfast, lunch, merienda, dinner and midnight snack.

I never had anything that walks, swims or flies since.

In fairness to the principle behind the book, I did lose some weight in the first two months. But on the 3rd and 4th month, the extra carbs I took to ease my meatless existence began to take its toll and before I could stop it, I was well on my way to Hipsville, Illinois once again.

I think it was on the 5th month that I had to re-evaluate what I was doing and why exactly I was doing it. You see, before then, when people asked me if I was doing it for animal rights I would answer brusquely “No! The only animal I’m doing this for is this one (sabay turo sa akin.)” But when it became painfully obvious that this animal was no longer benefiting from being a vegetarian, and not eager to jump off it just yet, I had to find another reason.

First, I took the “pity naman the animals” road.

I thought that being a dog-lover would automatically make me an any-kind-of-animal-lover. It does not apparently follow. I googled images of animals being slaughtered and read websites about them being tortured and I waited for the wave of emotion, the overwhelming guilt, the flood of tears to come - none did. I saw them as I always have - juicy pork chops, succulent racks of lamb, melt-in-your-mouth steak.

This was clearly not the route for me.

Then one after, Carmen and I were talking about bigotry and discrimination and that the greatest problem in the world today is man’s blatant lack of respect for everything he does not understand. Cultural, political and religious differences have spurred hostility and hatred because, instead of trying to understand and perhaps even appreciate other beliefs, men focus too much on attacking what is not theirs and defending what is. Man’s innate and unfounded sense of superiority over what he does not understand, that combination of arrogance and stupidity, makes him very dangerous.

It is this same sense of superiority that makes him believe that he is greater than other species. This that gives him the “right” to make a pig’s sole reason for living is be his bacon. A calf is taken right from his mothers womb, restricted to a confined space, force-fed beer and massaged everyday with sake until he is slaughtered and served as kobe. A ridiculous amount of food is pumped into a duck’s or a goose’s stomach through a metal pipe that is shoved down their throats to intentionally make them sick and make their livers swell up to ten times its normal size so we can have our foie gras. (God I miss foie gras)

My point?

Hunting down a baboyramo in the wild to make him adobo is one thing but breeding them specifically for the sole purpose of roasting them or sautéing their liver is another.

Here is where I get a little weird.

Just because I do not understand a cow’s moo or a duck’s quack doesn’t mean I have the right to quarantine them to keep their meat tender to the bite, feed them not what tastes good to them but what would make them taste good to me, and decide when they will be butchered.

They have as much right to life as I do. And, more importantly, they have a right to the same quality of life that every living creature should enjoy.

Here is where I get a lot weird.

Kasi what if aliens come to our planet one day and see these cute little earthlings whose tagalog sounds a bit like quacking to them, what will stop them from fattening us up and have our kidneys for lunch.

And so, hoping that aliens will allot me the same degree of respect I give other creatures, I remain a vegetarian.