Wednesday, April 27, 2005

ETTI DOES ALEGRE (and i dont mean alona baby)

April 21-24

One of the perks, if not the only one there is actually, of handling one of my accounts is that every year we choose a nice spot somewhere, gather up the media and bring them there for r and r.

This year, we went to cebu. Sogod, cebu. Alegre beach resort, sogod, cebu.

When my client first said that we had to send someone a day before to go around town and make sure that everything was in order, i raised my hand and jumped up and down and said "ME! ME!"

Never mind if the first time i was in Cebu i went straight from the airport to plantation bay. Never mind if the second time i was there i never even left the airport.

In my head, those two times that i touched down in Cebu practically made me a local.

So there i was in the middle of the mactan international airport all alone and lugging around 6 friggin backdrop banners for the event.

And of course, because i am, after all, me, i was not able to make hotel reservations. So i just literally went with the first guy who approached me and invited me to a hotel room.

The hotel room smelled weird. If i were a better writer i'd attempt to describe it but since im not i just hope that you know what im talking about. Anyway, after sleeping for an hour, i made my way to my first site in downtown cebu and then to my second site in mandaue city. And then i went shopping at SM cebu where people just insisted on talking to me in cebuano. geezler.

That night, i met up with an old friend for dinner. Bong is my bisaya great friend who sat next to me in law school. Who, apparently, i forced to admit that i was his best friend two weeks after we met (god i love myself.)

It was really good seeing him again.

When he brought me back to my hotel a little before midnight, i just realized how creepy my room was. It was a big room with dull orange carpet and stained wallpaper. So, just so i didnt have to be alone for a long time, i called for a massage. That cost me 1,000. Fuck.

The next day was sweet reunion with the I.T. press. The last time they saw me was in 2002 when i was 205 lbs. So when they saw me, God! kaya ba nila?!?

Anyway, it was truly one of the most fun work weekends i've had. Although the beach in Bohol was nicer, the fun i had in bohol does not even compare to a fraction of the fun i had in Cebu.

I owe it, of course, to the peeps with me.

Clients who, in fairness, rocked. Fun fun officemates. Media peeps who are really wonderful peeps (two of them i think i'm officially in love with.)

On top of that, there was, of course, despite my limited choices, great food.

And the rooms were just simply absolutely breath-taking!!!

All in all, it was fun times man! fun fucking times!

Monday, April 11, 2005

An ode to my unborn, not-even-in-the-ballpark-of-being-conceived child

If I Could
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise
Yes I would
If I could
I would teach you all the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned
Yes I would
If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow
So I could let you go
If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would
If I could
If I live in a time and place where you don't wanna be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday won't have to be your way
If I knew
I would try to change the world I brought you to
And there isn't very much that I can do
But I would
If I could

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Some things i just dont understand

Last monday, brian, the youngest brother of marc who is one of my bestfriends, went to consult a doctor because he was not feeling well. He was diagnosed with leukemia.

Yesterday, two days after, he passed away.

He was the good one. The one who made sure that his sisters were safe. The one who always looked out for his ate marc.

He was 25 years old.

On saturday, his parents are coming home to bury their son.


When she was barely two years old, my sisters kidneys started failing. She was put on steroids and was scheduled for a transplant.

My mother and my sister had to move to manila to be able to get medical treatment. Me and my brothers stayed with my grandparents in the province. My dad went back and forth to make sure that we were all okay.

After being away for a week, my dad went home to manila and rushed to my sisters crib. My mother walked in on him crying quietly as he watched my sister sleeping. He told my mother later that he cried because when he saw my sister that night he didnt even recognize her at first because of the steroids. And that for the first time in his life, my father - the supreme alpha macho male - felt helpless.

My sister didnt need a transplant after all, but her kidneys were still weak. She was in and out of the hospital for the first ten years of her life. She was not allowed to play, or to swim or to go to regular school because it might have aggravated her condition. She grew up on tasteless food because her kidneys couldnt take salt.

She finally got better in her teen years. And she grew up to be an amazing, beautiful, smart, funny human being. We all hoped that that would be the end of her suffering.

Two years ago, they found cysts in her ovaries, one of which was bigger than her uterus. Nobody in the family said it out loud but i knew we all felt the same thing. When is life ever gonna give her a chance to really live life?

I remember i called tracy the night i found out and i remember crying to her cos i couldnt understand why life was picking on my kid sister.

Less than a year after the cysts in her ovaries were taken out, they found new ones in her uterus.

She cried that day she found out. My sister, who has always been strong, cried inconsolably that day. And my mother, who sat and cried beside her too, just kept telling her it was going to be okay.

My sister is truly the strongest person i know. She fights her battles bravely with a smile on her face. If she ever did complain about all that has happened to her, she kept it to herself.


I often wonder how people like my sister and brian are chosen. Deesj believes that things happen randomly to random people. Cos really, when you look at life, nothing really seems fair.

Cos why was i spared and my sister not?

But I've also always believed that life is tougher on the strong because the strong can take it. So maybe, just maybe, i've been spared because i'm weak. Because maybe, if i were living my sisters life, i would just complain and be bitter.

I once read a story about a hunchback who was madly in love with a beautiful maiden. And the maiden couldnt bring herself to love him because he was ugly. One night, the hunchback told her that he was really suppose to be born handsome. But before he was born, the gods took him and showed him the reflection of the girl he was going to fall madly in love with, the girl was plain and deformed. So he prayed to the gods to transfer all her deformities to him because he didnt want her to grow up being scorned by other people. And so he was born a hunchback and she a beautiful maiden.

Maybe my sister told God before we were born to spare me and my siblings of any real heartaches. To just give it to her because she's the strongest of all of us.

I know that really sounds trite and stupid but sometimes i resort to the trite and stupid to try to understand why things are the way they are.

(god umiyak ba ako habang sinusulat ko to?)
(at god may kahabaan noh?)

Monday, April 04, 2005

He's still making funny faces. But now he does them in heaven. Posted by Hello