Thursday, November 27, 2008


My dearest Nano,

I love you. Maybe more than I’ve ever loved any inanimate object in my life. You are the most reliable, wonderful friend I have right now and you always know the right things to say. And you don’t just say it, you sing it. Even on shuffle, you are right on the money.

That being said though, I wish you have a bigger capacity. Actually, I wish I could afford to get a you with a bigger capacity. Sometimes kasi you’re just not enough. Hee. I’m so sorry please don’t be offended. I just really need more space because really, 4gig is a fucking joke.

But I love you. Completely and absolutely. I just want more of you.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008



(address: boulevard of broken dreams)

I have to admit, I didn’t really have a chance to know who you truly were until late in life. I hardly knew you growing up. That’s okay though. I think my sense of humor is still intact largely because you were never really around in my childhood.

But once you arrived, wow!, it’s like you decided to pitch a tent outside my backyard and call it home. You’re just constantly around and I can’t so much as stretch my legs without bumping into you. I understand clingy, I honestly do, but this is just, well, sad.

You know I appreciate you and I don’t want you out of my life completely. I’m just saying that maybe its time to call a truce.

You’re welcome to drop by when I take my walks listening to the beautiful sad playlist my friends made for me. You’re welcome to join me when I watch the rain from my window. You can keep me company until an hour after I finish watching a movie made in your honor. I’ll even make room for you while I reflect in the bathroom.

See! I do still want you in my life. I know what you’re worth and, because of you, I know what happiness and a sincere smile that warms the soul are worth. So we can still spend some time together. But maybe not as often and please not as intense.

Warmest regards,

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

pssst, hows that?

next year, i will know the answer to this question.

and i will know what to do with myself.

and i will be the happiest prettiest girl in the world.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Marami raw nagpapakamatay na OFWs sa Hongkong

Yan ang sabi ng isa sa mga kliyente namin. Naiintindihan ko na kung bakit.

Maganda ang Hongkong. Okay lang sa akin ang tumira dito kung may magaalok sa akin ng trabaho o kasal. Buhay sya buong araw, buong gabi. Hindi ka magugutom sa masasarap na pagkain kahit barya nalang ang pera mo. Pero sabagay nga naman, times 6 pa rin yon.

Madali ring gumalaw dito. Para makarating mula rito hanggang doon, kinakailangan lang marunong kang magbasa ng mapa at magdesisyon kung ika’y bay mag eh-mtr, bus, tram o ferry. At kailangan ring mabilis kang maglakad. Hindi ko naiintindihan kung bakit laging nagmamadali ang tao dito. Naka escalator na nga lang, tinatakbo pa. Nagmamadaling kumain, nagmamadaling magshopping, nagmamadaling magmaneho, nagmamadaling magbenta.

So naiintindihan ko kung bakit madaling malungkot ang ibang Pilipinong nakatira sa Hongkong. Iniwan nila ang pamilya at kaibigan nila para magtrabaho sa isang lugar na hindi tumitigil gumalaw. Isang lugar na hindi kayang magpahinga para bigyan sila ng oras huminga.

Pero parang gusto ko pa ring tumira dun. Parang kaya ko. Gusto kong mawalan ng oras mag-isip. Gusto ko munang tumigil sa pagiisip at maglakad ng mabilis. Tumakbo kung kinakailangan. Miski naka heels. Hindi kasi masaya ang mga pinagiisip ko ngayong mga panahong eto. Nakakaburat na rin.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

If i were a boy, i'm sure i'd be a better man

i wonder why men are often reckless with our hearts. I wonder why it seems easy for them to look us in the eye, say one thing and then turn around and do the opposite. I wonder why they think they have the right to expect from us much more than what they are willing to give.

i wonder why we let them.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Hey you, yes you on the other side

The world lost a lot of people this year. Good people. Leaving behind loved ones who now bravely move forward, one painful step following another. That’s the secret, I guess, to shows that must go on.

Caye, you did more in 37 years than most people accomplish in 80. I don’t remember if it was mamu or joel who said that you were the best of us. You were. Everything I want to be, you were effortlessly. And maybe I say that with a little envy, but mostly I say it with pride. It was a privilege knowing you.

Abuela, you were one tough cookie who refused to give up til the very end. If God intends me to grow old, I promise to grow old exactly the way you did. Beautiful and brave and funny.

Tito Goz, they say that women who have great fathers will probably end up alone because no one will ever measure up to their daddies. So tito, its your fault if tracy ends up alone. Hee hee. But its okay, I’ll be alone with her.

There were others who went home too. Some I knew personally, some I knew only through people I love. I hope someday, when the grand plan is revealed to us, we can all go “ahhhh… so this is how it works out.” Because it works out right? Right?

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Obama won! you would have been very excited today.