Saturday, December 16, 2006

Overheard at Boracay

During dinner last night at Jammers with Gigi, i overheard one american telling two others about what happened during the recent typhoon that devastated the island. This particular bit almost made me cry.


These people are amazing. The day after the storm, they were all out on the shore - cleaning, fixing, repairing. They were using every thing they could to put things back together - spit, gum, strings. And I was thinking that if i were back in the west, the first thing people will do is to file their insurance or sue somebody or just basically sit on their asses and wait for help to come. The guys here are really
something else.

Kinaya ko ba yon?

Friday, December 08, 2006


There's only one thing i want next year. And what I want, I want a truckload of.


Alam kong mababaw pero madali nang maghanep ng depth kung afford mo ang stuff.

O ayan ah. Malinaw ang usapan.

Friday, October 27, 2006

the widow in yellow

I admit it. I'm easily start struck. Gary V. comes to our table for a quick 'hey ordinary mortal, im acknowledging your presence' chitchat and I cannot put one coherent thought together. I see piolo from a distance and I turn to mush. I can't even begin to imagine what an encounter with ate shawie will do to me. Yup, I'm a mega fan - always will be by virtue of the fact that I always have been.

However, there is another group of personalities that never fail to leave me in awe - politicians. I know, i know - I can't be serious right? well, I am. I know it's hard to believe that in a world like ours and at a time like now where every public official and their spouses are judged corrupt without due process, I still hold them in high esteem. I guess its because deeply buried under my jaded, suspicious mind is the naive little girl who grew up believing that politicians are primarily public servants. Servants of the people who have sacrificed private life and corporate pay to make sure that we live in a system that works for the majority. I like that I have a government that looks out for me and makes sure I'm treated fairly.

Given my job and who i work for, I've had my fair close encounters with politicians. And given who I am, I've had my fair share of stupid conversations with them. I take full responsibility for the stupid, they can take credit for the conversations.

Anyway, one figure that never fails to make me stare is former President Corazon Aquino. She doesn't walk in with a lot of fanfare, no fireworks, no cheerleaders. And, since shes always in yellow and the biggest smile, she brings the sunshine with her anywhere she goes. And calm - she brings that with her too. An aura of serenity that will not break in battle.

I wonder about her sometimes. About how she went through what she did and come out smiling in yellow.

She was married to a man she had to share with a country. Was she ever tempted to make him choose? Her or his politics… Their children or the millions who saw him as their messiah…

And when he eventually made his choice, did she feel defeated a little?

And when she lost him so publicly, was she given a chance to mourn privately? Not to mourn for the hero but for the man she shared her bed with. Not to cry for the martyr but for the man who made her laugh.

And now, 23 years after she was widowed, is she still in mourning? When she watches the clips of her husband lying dead on the tarmac, does she still feel the hurt of losing him all over again?

She was left to fend for herself, for her family and, eventually, for her country under the watchful eye of a public that was as eager to see her fail as they were to see her succeed. She was forced into a foreign arena by the promise and the memory of her dead husband where she had to single-handedly 'restore a democracy' and 'rebuild a nation'. Big tasks for a "housewife" but she did her best and she pulled it off.... somewhat.

And My God she must be a good mother. I have long since decided that Great mothers do not necessarily produce the best children. Great mothers are great mothers because they can still bring themselves to accept, defend and love the worst in their children.

I really think she's a good woman. I really really wish her all the happiness in the world.


Wednesday, October 25, 2006


WARNING: Blog content is highly disgusting and mildly exaggerated to allow for the dramatics--- i am, after all, me. Reader's discretion is advised. Also, reader's imagination is encouraged to take the route taken by "caught on tape" shows for maximum enjoyment.

Voice over:
When maite alvarez went to bed at 2:30 in the morning on saturday, October the 14th, she thought she had plenty of sleep ahead of her. The week prior was toxic but the week that was coming was downright venomous and a restful, quiet sunday was her only break in between.

Little did she know that that particular sunday morning was not going to be as easy as the Commodores said sundays ought to be.

Maite Alvarez:
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning because my stomach was grumbling and there was this intense pain that I had never felt before. It felt like the devil himself was poking my insides with his pitchfork and all i could do was lie on my bed and cringe in sorrow.

Voice over:

But that was not all she could do. Gathering every morsel of strength she had, maite stood up and dragged herself to the bathroom where she unleashed what was to be only the first of 86 trips to the toilet.

Maite Alvarez:
The first one wasnt so bad. It was a relief really. You have to understand that I woke up feeling like there was a rave party in my stomach and everyone i know and their mother showed up and showed up drunk. The trip to the banyo turned the rave into a more relaxed cocktail party. I felt better after that.

Voice over:
But barely an hour after she felt better, maite started to feel worse.

Maite Alvarez:
I was in the middle of my business for the second time when i suddenly felt light headed. It was as if by expelling my toxins, I was expelling my very soul. I knew I needed help and I knew I had to move fast to get it. So I WASHED UP and stood up to go to my bedroom. As I was drying up, I felt like all the wind was being sucked out of me. Everything became hazy and I knew that I was going to faint already. So I panicked. I rushed out of my room and walked towards the dining area where i hoped to find somebody who could help me. Luckily, my father was on his way to the garden when he saw me struggling to walk from my room. I called out faintly 'papa' before i finally gave in to the darkness and collapsed.

Voice over:

Maite was in and out of consciousness for a little less than a minute, but it felt like two centuries to her.

Maite Alvarez:
It was like I was torn between going towards the voice of my father which was increasingly becoming more and more distant and going towards the light which was becoming more and more comforting. My father was panicking. He was asking one question after the other, hoping to get a clue on how to help me.

He was asking "Hija, what did you do last night?" "What's happening to you?" "What's wrong?"

To answer his questions, I blurted out the three words i thought would help the most;


Voice over:
The night before, maite and friend gigi dined on mussels and oysters. Ordinarily, the only result one expects from a meal of seashells is the wonderful memory of a fanstastic meal. But taken on an empty stomach, a meal of these same shelled sources of joy can mean DISASTER!

To make the situation worse, in her haste to get some help, maite forgot to do something that caused her much humiliation - she was not able to pull up her panties when she walked out of her room.

So there she was, laying unconscious on the floor, with her ass as bare as God intended it to be..... and her father worried sick beside her.

Maite Alvarez:

When I recovered my wits, i started to weigh which would have been worse - dying because of over eating or dying with my bum exposed.

Voice over:
And there it is, another story where what are seen as defenseless and harmless shellfish threaten a precious human life. A story we urge you to remember the next time you feast on this traitorous creatures that can cost you more than your dinner bill if and when good shells go bad.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Because carmen misses me

I really dont have time for this but i got this DESPERATE message from carmen last week to update my blog so she can still feel part of my life. Well here I am with lots of things to say and very little sense.

* I have to say that I have successfully stayed indifferent to my work despite the pressure. I've been functioning on a default worker mode. Like Adam Sandler on Click. Not one of my 2 gazillion balls have dropped. Yet. Either I'm that good or I'm that lucky. But I do have a feeling I will get fired in November. Why? because a few months ago, I was made a book publisher. I am NOT a book publisher.

* I seem to be surrounded by women who bathe in Be Delicious perfume. And I really have no one to blame but myself. My mother who has it because I gave her one. Jenni has it because we bought one together. and Ruth (my officemate) bought it because she smelled it from me. I used to think it smelled good but now I just hate it. Hate is a strong word but I am using it here. In fact, I'll use it again. I HATE THE SMELL OF BE DELICIOUS PERFUME. It's too much. Too sweet. Too invasive. It attacks my olfactory nerves, work its way up to my brain, and kills all good memories I have cherished with these women. It makes me want to run away from mama, jump out of Jenni's car and resign. Worst.

* I saw episode 2 of season 3 of greys anatomy last night. I WANT PATRICK DEMPSEY. I want to marry him and have his babies. He has that cocky, flirty vibe that turns to sensitive and intense in a second and I am buying it and stocking up.

* Ana is leaving for Madrid this saturday. Pressure.

* We were probably one of the last areas to get electricity back. It was funny how we were starting to get used to the darkness. By the light of a single candle, I could manuever my way around my cluttered room, brush my teeth, wash my face, put on my moisturizer and pick out my clothes for the next day. The other night, I entered my sisters room (where we temporarily relocated to sleep) when I got a text, my brother suddenly awoke, shielded his eyes from the bright that was coming from my phone, and yelled "ano ba? ang liwanag. patayin mo yan," as if I had just walked in with the sun. Funny.

* Rice vs. no rice. The battle that plays out every 1130 when I'm about to decide what to have for lunch. No rice has won more times but when rice wins, it wins big. I think I'm narrower. But I have been known to be delusional so I will not count on what I see.

* I want to get a dog. A big one. Like carolina. Should I? Should I?


Monday, September 18, 2006

fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars...

It's one of my favorite songs in the whole wide world. I've been listening to it everday in the past three weeks. To Sinatra's version at home and to Bennett's here in the office. The emotion that each version evokes (at least in me) is worlds different from each other.

Frank wants me to tap my feet, put my biggest smile on, walk around florence holding his hand on a fresh sunday morning. Tony wants me to watch the new york skyline against a starry night from the balcony of my 5th avenue penthouse with him embracing me from behind.

Franks is a celebration - that woooo-hooooo-im-so-in-love-i-could-have-danced-all-night feeling.

Tonys is a realization - that oh-my-god.-this-is-it!-this-is-all-i-need-for-the-rest-of-my-days! kind.

I love them both. sometimes equally. sometimes one a teeny weeny bitsy more than the other.

let's sing it.

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

Friday, September 08, 2006

an appeal to all my male friends who plan to be husbands someday...

Please please please, even in the direst of circumstances, do not murder your wives!

It is just not right.

Friday, September 01, 2006


Just too damn many.

I feel like a clown juggling 6 balls at once and, from all around, people are throwing more balls into the mix to challenge me or just because they think I dont mind.

This is not the first time i'm doing this. Or actually it is. Except this first time started in 2003 and it just kept on going.

Sabi ni carmen, i should consider letting the balls drop because people are too used to none of the balls falling and they don't even notice me furiously juggling anymore.

May point sya don. And really 80% of me is walking towards that path, but the other 20 (a loud minority) is afraid that the balls will all fall on my head and knock me down.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hi. I'm maite. And I do really stupid things at such inopportune times.

like last night.

I was on my way to Makati med where my abuela was confined when I started thinking "Hmmm.... what if some hot guy picks me up tonight and wants to take me right here in the middle of the kalye. What will i tell him?"

So i started thinking about what I would tell him cos god i wouldnt want it to lead to a relationship (whatever). So i stopped, took out my palm, and wrote down my monologue. I just changed one line in there when i typed it kanina. Anyway,


Don’t tell me your name
I do not need to know it
I will call you baby
I will call you god
That will do

And if by chance a name escapes my lips,
Pretend it is yours.

Don’t tell me what pays your bills
or how you like your eggs.
Don’t speak of the party that kept you up
or the monsters that wake you in the middle of the night.

None of it matters.
Not now.

And you don’t have to know my name.

You can call out 14 different names
And I will be every single one of them.

Picture me your virgin.
Picture me your whore.
Picture me the widow of your best friend.
Picture me your 7th-grade fantasy.

I am all of them tonight.

Let this be about everything that is nothing.

Rob touch of purpose
Deprive kisses of promise
Take away the meaning of anything that resembles love

It won’t be made here tonight

Save it for the girl you haven’t met
for the wife who waits
for the life you dream

Or pretend it is here
But know that it will soon die on top of me,
Spent and satisfied.


I shouldn't really be thinking of stupid things at these times noh.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Ako'y isang bakya...

Opo. Bakya po ako. Pinakilig at pinaiyak ng mga pelikula ni ate shawie at claudine baretto, pumadyak ang paa ng sayawan ni Aga at Gary V. sa Bagets at hotshots, at tumili ng parang baliw nung may gustong patayin sa sindak si barbara. Mahilig akong manood ng pelikulang pilipinong pangmasa. Isang bagay na hindi ko kailanman ikinahiya.

Well what about this DREAMBOY movie?!?!?! Ano ba naman star - ang sama eh. nakakasuka. nakakadiri. nakakahiya.

Come on peeps... lets do better.

At saka, no offense to her fans ha, but bea is not really bida material.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Thursday, August 17, 2006

It must be nice to be jet right now

and i'm honestly so inggit ha.

so, in the universe inside my head where everything is possible, i will clone me into 4 billion etties, gather around the edsa shrine to rally and chant....


at sana yung realistic. tama na ako sa patrick dempsey at colin firth.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Hee hee hee

I was the most angry naman in my last blog eh.

Get off your high horses so i can box you both in the head

Okay, this is gonna be quick because i have to run to a meeting but i also have to vent because im very upset.

1. To my friend's vegetarian friend who said i shouldnt call myself a vegetarian because i started eating oysters, clams, and shrimps again because i didnt want to deprive myself of all that is good in this world -

You arrogant moron and a half, you can take your vegetarian label and stick it up your constipated ass because I DONT WANT IT. If you're doing this because you genuinely care for animals, then i suggest you get down on your knees and kiss my feet because I'm helping you save them regardless of my reasons. And if you can't see past my reasons for doing it cos maybe you think its stupid that im doing it because of a promise i made to God or because I break out in hives when I eat meat or because I just simply prefer vegetables to meat, then you just shut your ugly mouth before i send a decapitated horse's head to your bed tonight.

2. To my client who spent two hours of my time back-biting his brother in law because the brother in law is rich and he's not -

You pretentious angry old man, you stop pretending that money means nothing to you when you've based your entire hatred for your brother in law on the fact that he has it and you don't. You're no different from the gold diggers who cant see past the dollar sign except that you dont cling to the rich, you run away from them even if they turn out to be nice guys in the end. You told me that you hate it that he's proud of being rich, well thats not any different from you being proud of being poor. You think i think of you now as a humble, principled man who doesn't let money get in the way of his rationality? No sir, you're just a bitter, proud man who's making his wife miserable because he refuses to get along with her brother.

okay, i have to go to my meeting now.

Monday, August 14, 2006

My Boracay

It’s been 5 days since our plane landed from Boracay and I still can’t get the island off of my head.

Simply put, I love that place.

I love that the beach is big enough to allow everyone a spot to build sandcastles. I love that the island is small enough to give a sense of familiarity and comfort to strangers and natives alike. I love that the food bought off a street stand is just as good, and unfortunately as fattening, as the gourmet plates that are served in its first class restaurants. I love that vendors never tire of offering their goods despite the countless times they have been turned down, and I especially love that some of them sell items that have no business being sold in a beach like pearls and gold. I love that everyone will insist to be your personal bellhop and carry your bag even if it’s just a tote. I love that all dogs are communal pets and everyone shares the responsibility of taking care of them and scratching their ears. I love that I can run barefoot in the sand and jump around in the water like an unchaperoned 7 year old. I love that the fine, white sand and the clear, clean waters still surprises me every single time I step out in the beach. I love that I can always count on the sunset to take my breath away and for the gazillion stars to make me want to hold somebody’s hand. But most of all, I love that I can just turn to anyone and smile knowing fully well that I will get an even bigger smile in return.

Despite of all the whys I love Boracay though, there were two reasons that I especially loved my visit this time; the company and the food.


I was with my brother Joey and my sister Guada. He spent a night there 5 years ago and she has never been. So, with 3 Boracay vacations in my belt, I took the island-expert role and told them to follow my lead. They were the most excited tourists I’ve ever gone with on a vacation. He was the ‘Go. Go. Let’s do everything’ kind and she would hesitate and bite her fingers first before she grudgingly said yes.

And while they both loved the island too, they expressed it in different ways.

On our last afternoon there, Guada and I were frying on the sand when Joey emerged from the water, ran to where we were, plopped down beside us, raised his arms up in the air and with the biggest smile shouted “THIS IS THE BEST VACATION EVERRRR!!!!” He would take off on his own at 6 in the morning and 12 midnight while we girls slept because he would rather enjoy the island outdoors. He would come back with amazing photos that made us almost wish we didn’t sleep instead. Almost.

Guada, on the other hand, was not as vocal. She would watch everything in silence and just smile every once in a while as though she just suddenly discovered the island’s biggest secret. Being our resident OC, she would stop us from petting possibly rabid dogs, touching possible bacteria infected surfaces, and leaving a mess in the bathroom after we bathe. She would impatiently ask me “what are we eating for dinner?” two seconds after we have breakfast. And wow did she love the shopping.

I can’t wait to go on another vacation with these two.


Before I left for Boracay, I made a list of all the places that I should bring my siblings to eat. I wrote down two places in bold letters. One of them delivered, one disappointed.

‘Real Coffee’ is a small quaint cafĂ© hidden inside one of Boracay’s alleys. The place, which is mostly made of bamboos, has a cozy feel that makes you just want to sit down in a corner and read a book while drinking a cup of their freshly-brewed coffee.

Even before Josie, one of their friendly staff, handed me their menu, I already knew what I wanted, omelet with cheese, tomato, onion and pesto. It was the first dish I had the first time I ate there two years ago and I never ordered anything else since. The tomatoes are always juicy, the onions still slightly crunchy, the eggs still a little bit runny, the cheese perfectly melted and the pesto, oh my God the pesto, always a perfect mix of basil and garlic. In the 8 times I’ve had their omelet, they never ever failed to satisfy.

While I never have dessert at breakfast, I had no choice but to do so at ‘Real Coffee.’ Their brownies and oatmeal raisin cookies are soooo good. But it was their calamansi muffin that really got me. It just had the right mix of the sweet and the tart that went perfectly with the mildly bitter coffee.

The second place on my list was the Indian restaurant ‘True Foods’. I love Indian food and every time I’m in Boracay, I make sure that I eat there. The ambience at ‘True Foods’ is very relaxed with just about the right touch of sophistication. Chairs were thrown out for more comfortable huge throw pillows that are perfect for the very low wooden tables. The view of the beach from the second floor is nothing short of spectacular though a jacket is recommended to keep the chill away. Everything was perfect. Except, unfortunately, the food. I don’t know if there has been a change of management or a change of kitchen crew or a change of recipe but that was definitely not how I remember their food. I don’t know if they were just having a bad day but I was really disappointed that night. The Shrimp Biryani had all the heat in the world and none of the flavor. The Tandoori chicken was dryer than my skin. And, I’m sorry, but Indian cuisine does not have room for thousand island dressing as dip. Where the hell was my chutney?

But the island found a way to make up for that mess of a meal. It always finds a way to make up for anything actually, be it a burnt house (long story) or a broken heart (longer story.)

All in all though, it was one of the best vacations I’ve ever had.

Good company, good food, good times!!!

I dont care if I get it

Well maybe i do a little but at this point, im okay if i dont. Because i really love the video. And not just because I dont look so fat but because it was so fun to make.

And since this is my first video, syempre may credits.

Tracy, for shooting, editing and calling me stupid 2million times last night because i was being emotionally gross.

Deesj, for telling me about it and encouraging me to apply. And for claire's cam and directional mic.

Mamu, for telling me to focus on something in my essay.

Adi, for holding the camera like a pro when tracy was nanginginig na from lack of a tripod.

Gigi, for turning the light bulb on on cue and shooting the stills.

Jenni, for answering my texts at 2 in the morning about possible concepts.

Drach, for his inputs about the show since he's the only one who has actually seen it.

Monster, for that killer 'fart' line and for finding it funny.

Margie, for laughing til she cried.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Jerking Shrimps

You know that wonderful jerked chicken gastronomic orgasm that gigi makes, she will start selling na the marinade. And she said it works with shrimps too!!!!

Wooo Hoooo!!!!

My geads this is all i can think about right now.


To all those who will be buying gigi's wonderful marinade, may i suggest to try any of many equally explosive desserts to cap your meal from Compulsive Eaters.

Shameless plugging eto.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Conversations with cabbies

I spend a lot of time in cabs. So obviously, I spend a lot of time with cabbies. I have come to appreciate the...hmmmm...loneliness cab drivers must face everyday. To be constantly surrounded by people and yet be invisible. To be always in the middle of conversations and yet be ignored. To be ordered, forgotten, paid, and left behind all in the time it takes to get from benavidez to valero.

So i try to be a polite passenger whenever i can.

I listen when talked to, answer when necessary, and even smile occasionally.

They do love to talk. They talk about anything and everything. From politics, to religion, to showbiz chismis, to, of course, the rising cost of fuel.

But when they start talking about themselves, i channel my inner Oprah and start to have a conversation.

Last night was one of my favorites.


"Alam ko ang United Paranaque. Bago palang ako mag abroad alam ko na yan," he casually says.

"San ka nagpunta?" I asked. If you've been abroad, I want to know where because I'm an inggitera.

"Every year ako nag a-abroad. One year sa Kuwait. One year dito. Driver ako dun."


"OO. Maliit nga lang ang sweldo ko eh. 3,600 lang."

"Dollars?" I asked.

"OO," he answered.

I, of course, couldn't stop myself from saying "Ang yabang mo naman. Hindi nga?"

"OO nga. Pero mababa yon kumpara sa ibang amerikano na kapereho ko sa trabaho."

"Talaga?", although I'm sure there was a big SHYAR!!! flashing on my forehead noh. "Fun ba sa Kuwait?"

"Okay naman. Open city na yon. Maraming pinay na babae na blah blah blah" He must have noticed that mind had already drifted off because he cleared his voice before he continued to say "Pumunta ako sa Kuwait pagkatapos kong makulong."

So, attentive na naman si ets diba?

"Nakulong ka?" I asked as i hold on tighter to my bag with my left hand and ready my right to open the door in case i needed to jump out of there.

"OO. Sundalo ako nuon. Napasama ako sa coup nung kay Gringo," he shares.

Fear turns into judgment "Bakit ka naman kasi sumama dun?"

He gets on the defensive "Hindi ko talaga alam maam na ganun pala. Sundalo ako sa probinsya (I forget where), sarhento na ako. Tinawagan ako nung superior ko ng madaling araw, sabi nya na i-ready ko raw ang platoon ko. Alam mo kasi sa military, obey first before you ask. So wala akong tanong-tanong. Na-excite nga ako dahil babyahe kaming maynila. So pagpunta namin ng maynila, pinapunta kami sa Dusit, sa Hotel Nikko. Tapos yon, coup na pala yon. Na-aresto kami, nakulong ako ng anim na buwan."

"Pinagsisihan mo ba yon?"

"Hindi mo na rin masabi eh. Ganon talaga sa trabaho namin eh."


Another story that I haven't forgotten happened several years ago. I've unfortunately forgotten who I was with but we were a lot because I remember feeling cramp at the back.

We were driving by 6750 when he points to the building and says in perfect english "That's where my daughter works. She's an executive for Caltex."

And thats when I started to take notice of him. He was probably in his early 50s. You had to look closely, but you could tell that his features were very mestizohin. Even in his worn-out shirt, he could have easily passed as one of my dad's friends. And it was obvious from the way he spoke that sentence, that he was educated.

As it turns out, he was a rich kid. He went to La Salle for college and graduated with a degree in business management. He married his girlfriend and they had 2 children. He quit his job shortly after he got it because he was too spoiled and too arrogant to take orders from someone else. He took his parents' money and he gambled it away. Took his wife's money and gambled it away.

His wife left him and brought their children with her. She did okay without him. Found a job and was able to raise their kids well and send them to college.

He was hit by depression and wasn't able to recover as quickly. But one day, he realized that he had to do something. By this time he had already lost his friends too and had no one to run to. No company would touch him. So he applied as a cab driver.

At the time we met him, he had just been driving for a little over a year. "I'm not used to hard labor," he said. He holds up his hand to show us his calluses that still seem fresh "I got these from driving everyday of the week without a day off for the past year. I want to change my life," he added.


And there, of course, is my all time favorite cabbie. He's name is Guy Goma. He is my ultimate example of a man who will pretend to know how to swim when he's thrown in the river even if he's drowning just because people are watching on the shore.


Thursday, July 27, 2006

A poorer version of deesj's blog

These are the original instructions.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!

These are my improvised ones since i dont have an ipod.

1. Get any songhits/song book lying around (i wanted the big thick one but cant find it so im using instead the magic sing playlist folder)
2. Flip through the pages while reading the question then stop flipping after.
3. Randomly point to any part of the page with your finger (i recommend the index one, but feel free to use your favorite)
4. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.

How are you feeling today?
- Bye bye love

Will you get far in life?
- Fever

How do your friends see you?
- Tonight I celebrate my love

Will you get married?
- Come together

What is your life's theme song?
- Keep on running

What is the story of your life?
- Do you want to know a secret?

What was high school like?
- Vision of love

How can you get ahead in life?
- Don't worry, be happy

What is tomorrow going to be like?
- Lead me lord

What is the best thing about your friends?
- You're only lonely

What is in store for the next weekend?
- Oh donna

What song best describes you?
- Gaano kadalas ang minsan

How is your life going?
- Ready to take a chance again

What song will play at your funeral?
- By the light of the silver moon

How does the world see you?
- All for love

Will you have a happy life?
- Thriller

What do your friends really think of you?
- Green green grass of home

What song describes the person you're
attracted to?
- Don't be cruel

What message would you like to tell the next generation?
- Nasaan ang liwanag

Do you have a deep dark secret?
- Separate ways, worlds apart

Fun na rin yon for me

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Taken from chockwit's blog- WHAT BE THE STORY OF...

your name
Before I was Maite, I was called tetchie (lord!). When my parents realized that my hips will never allow me to live up to the promise set by ms. Agbayani ‘pinaka magandang hayop sa balat ng lupa,’ it was immediately changed to the cuter, more adorable “maite”
The name has since evolved into several spin-offs; Ets, Etlers, Ettie, and the less popular Ettiloo.

your parents
Beauty and the Beast. Okay fine, my dad was probably hot in his day. He was the local bully and she was the no-nonsense smarty pants of the biggest mestiza-producing family in Isabela. He built a wall around her before she even reached puberty and no one, NO ONE, was allowed within 42 million miles of it.
So since she thought he was all the man the world had to offer, she took him.

your last birthday
Quiet and simple.

your first love
Oh god. Gross. But fine. Niv. He was my best friend in sophomore year in CSA. Could talk to him for hours and hours and he made me laugh everyday of the week and twice on Sundays for 6 years. Well, for, at least 5 of the 6 years.

your room
I just recently had my very own room (pathetic.) It used to be my mom’s office so the wall paper and the blinds are very mommy. But I love it. It has a bay window that overlooks the garden. But since I’m a wimpy schwimpy, the blinds are closed most of the time.
A big-ass german flag hangs on the wall (a gift from Tom from camp) for no good reason.

last Christmas
I don’t remember. But I think I just spent it with the family at home. And maybe I went out after with friends. But I really don’t remember.

your last valentines
Oh…. I don’t remember.

your current clothes
I’m in all white despite the weather. So I wont be surprised if someone mistakes me for a fridge and puts vegetables under my pants.

the 1st time you saw your crush
Patrick Dempsey. Grey’s Anatomy.

you and your best friend
I saw her pass her suicidal phase and she saw me pass my pathetic cry-me-a-river stage.
She buys everything I sell plus one because that’s how she is.
We used to be hermits. I hung out at her house everyday for two years and that was all the outside world I needed. One time, we were just watching tv at her flat when the doorbell rang, we literally froze and thought “But I’m here and you’re here so who the hell could that be?!?”
It was manang josie from downstairs who needed something or other.

the last place you went to
Uhhh…. The banyo. Okay naman sya, malinis na rin compared to the banyo sa SM malls.

the last time you cried
Babaw tears? – caught the ending of spanglish and cried at the mother-daughter dialogue. “Will you do anything to make sure that you don’t end up anything like me?” (I paraphrase) God! Kinaya ba yon ni ets?

your greatest achievement so far
Wala ata eh.

last movie you watched
Beauty and the Beast special edition last night on DVD. I love gaston.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

hee hee hee

how fun...


I love to doodle. For people with A.D.D. like myself, doodling can be your new best friend. Especially when you're in a meeting and you want to look like you care even if really you're back in boracay laughing at the chums who are pretending to be waiting for the bus. And as you stifle a chuckle at that memory, you look down and scribble something, anything, then you look back up and say "uh huh" or "of course" and you're nothing but a dedicated a.e. again.

My alone time with doodling is every tuesday morning where I lock myself in a small room and attend a conference call. I'm not a big fan of conference calls. Meeting with other people scattered around the region via a boomerang shaped teleconferencing device is just about as futile as masturbation. I mean sure we could use the practice, and sure it can be fun, but the only audience you're really trying to please is yourself. And the rest of the peeps on the call are busy playing with themselves also that they dont really pay attention. I know i dont.

But no, I dont masturbate to pass the time during these calls. Our conference room opens to the office of the chairman so i try not to touch myself while in there. I doodle.

Doodling is really a zen exercise ha. You just clear your head of things and trust your hand to create something wonderful. And you allow yourself to be surprised nalang at the masterpiece that awaits you when you snap out of the trance.

My favorite objects of doodling are eyes, flowers, and (for some reason)swastikas.

I also like scribbling down words, or names, or just letters. Of course ETS is a favorite.

This morning, our conference call took longer than usual. So i had more time to doodle. When it was over, I realized that I had written one name over and over in different fonts and sizes.


how strange. I dont even know an aida.

Friday, July 07, 2006


I had to take a pause last night on my way to the terminal to take it all in.

The smell of the freshly bathed asphalt after a sudden downpour, the raindrops that find me in the mild drizzle that followed, the rustling leaves of the trees that line up benavidez, the distant but still audible howling of the wind, the woman with her blue umbrella and black 2-inch pumps scurrying along pass the men who find refuge in mini-stop and doughnuts, the icky feeling of my slippers absorbing the dirty rainwater puddle that i brilliantly unconsciously chose to stand on despite the dry land that neighbors it 2 inches to its left, the entire gloomy, grey, gotham city aura of makati.

I was standing on X and I was happy.

My geads I really lurveeee the rain!

Sana I have moments like that everyday. Even if it lasts for only 10 seconds. Even if it's followed by an overcrowded shuttle ride, the cancellation of an order after I've bought all the ingredients, and the gas running out in the middle of baking. Because it is these 10 fast, fleeting seconds that take our breath away and make us feel truly alive in a lifetime of an otherwise mundane existence. And not because it is pregnant with meaning and purpose, but because in those ten seconds, you dont need one.

"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”

i got this quote from jenni's blog, and i love it. The last time I played in the rain was in majayjay with my chums. Wait let me find a picture. Okay, never mind, I'm so fat pala there. But anyway, I lurveeeeeeeeeeee the rain. Tapos gigi wanted to wash na her hair since we were drenched anyway, but as soon as she lathered up, finish na the rain. So she just played volleyball with shampoo in her hair. Hee hee. So funny. okay fine, i will post it na nga.

And i also found this other quote which will be my mantra from now on in all other aspects in my life.

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.”

Thursday, July 06, 2006


I already heard a lot about her before I even knew what she looked like. Riya constantly talked about her and their adventures in India. So when riya told me that Ingrid was going to be the leader of the norwegian delegation again when it was my turn to go, I knew it was going to be a great camp.

Jenny (the british leader) and I took our day off with Ingrid. And since she's been there before, she knew exactly where to take us. She brought us to this wonderful place where they sold traditional indian shoes. She took us around downtown lucknow in search of various pasalubongs and stuff. She took us to this pub where these two old and drunk indian men tried to chat us up (and while we said yes to free drinks, we said no to everything else.) She took us to Aryan restaurant which, without question, gave me my best taste of indian food yet.

Ingrid can sing tong tong tong tong pakitong kitong off the top of her head, not one syllable mispronounced. She insisted that my kids call her tita. She had the most infectious laugh and gave the tightest hugs. She was mortified of mice and cried several times in camp when this one little one we called pinky ocassionally dropped by quite nonchalantly in the middle of our meetings.

She rode the camel with me and we both screamed like little girls when the poor animal stood up to take us around the football field.

She also has the most beautiful skin I have ever seen.

Her delegation was the first to leave camp. On her last night, I went with her to say good night to the kids and watched her sing norwegian lullabies until they all cried themselves to sleep.

She's just really an all-around amazing person.

And she's coming to the Philippines in December.

Woooo Hoooooo!!!!! I'm so excited.

me and ingrid. woooo hoooo!!!!!


anyway, all this talk about ingrid has suddenly made me miss camp.

Every night, we would all gather around the lullaby room and well sing lullabies. (Hoy joel stop rolling your eyes!!!) Anyway, we dont sing naman twinkle twinkle noh, we sing nice songs naman. Favorites were yesterday, leaving on a jet plane, and for some reason, Hotel California.

This song was one of my favorites :-), I will sing it now.


Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Nay, Tay,

Maraming salamat po sa tinatawag nating genes.

inyong mga supling

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

goodbye eddie

Say hi to carolina for me.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Limang araw, walang juice!

Let's review my last week shall we;

5 days
8 events
7 of which I managed and emceed
3 in pasay
2 in cebu
1 each in olongapo, paranaque, and manila
2 regional reports submitted to Hong Kong

and that was just for 1 client

I have 2 more.

I dont know how to describe the state that I was in at the end of the week accurately so suffice it to say that i was drained to the deepest recesses of my bone marrows. Tuyo't na tuyo't at walang katas at sabor.

Buti nalang may perks rin... birthdays of 3 people I love dearly (happy birthday adi, mama and bobby), a new life for a friend whose despedida I slept through (sorry carmen and rock the u.s. good), 30 hours of sleep over the weekend, and 5 episodes of prison break.

Hindi pa rin naman balanse ang good sa bad noh, pero im okay na rin.

Kasi sometime soon, ayan na ang silver lining after the storm, ang bright light at the end of the tunnel, ang rainbow after the rain, ang window na bubuksan ni lord after the closing of a door, ang grand landing of the majestic eagle.

Kaya ba ni ets?

Saturday, June 17, 2006


an accounts person should:

1. be organized.
2. be time-conscious.
3. care enough to anticipate client's requirements.
4. give a shit about whether the brand is as big as it should be.


1. am not.
2. really am not.
3. do not.
4. really do not.

It begs the question; what am i doing here?

Friday, June 16, 2006

sa itim, sa puti, sa abo.

Last night, while baking my wonderful flourless chocolate cake, i caught bits and pieces of a che-che lazaro feature on the Legenda case.

Legenda is the biggest hotel and casino chain in Subic Bay. It is owned and operated by a malaysian company and managed by this bald and very ma-amo looking non-Filipino (not sure if malaysian or singaporean or korean but definitely not filipino and definitely reminds me a little of pat morita - sumalangit nawa.)

Anyway, last april i think it was, PAGCOR closed them down because of non-payment of taxes since 2001. That's 5 years of operating a business in my country without giving my government what is due them. Thats 5 years of duping us under the pretense of being "lugi" when your bacharrat and poker tables were never empty even on stormy tuesday nights. Thats 5 years that I've been working my fat ass off so i can give my fair share to better this country and you did not.

Mali ka don Legenda. Maling-mali.

Pero teka muna.

Around 500 employees displaced? 500 employees with families depending on them?

BAH --- 500 is a small number compared to what their back taxes can do to our economy. They're casualties of war I thought. We cant win big if we're not willing to lose a little. Right? right.

But damn this che-che with her fair and balanced reporting. She introduces us to two of these 500. Both are women who were dealers at Legenda. Both the breadwinner of their families. Both have mouths to feed and children to send to school. Both now jobless, pesoless and getting more and more hopeless each day the casino stays closed.

In an ideal world, Legenda, who of course claims to be completely innocent of any wrong doing and who is in fact asserting the benefit of their existence by promoting local tourism and economy in Subic Bay, would pay PAGCOR and the government what they should and all these 500 peeps will go back to work and their children back to school.

But it's not an ideal world.

Either Legenda stand their ground and wins and the Philippines will be 300 million pesos poorer for it. Or they stay closed and we have to add 500 to the unemployed millions who are desperating looking for non-exixtent jobs in a struggling economy.

Itim pa rin eh. Pero parang umaabo na rin.


Sabi ni house md (who rocks by the way),


To his employees, this pat morita-ish manager is fighting for their right to survive. He meets with them every night, knows them by name, and reassures them that he will not give up the casino so they can keep on living. He is a hero.

To the rest of us Filipinos, he is an opportunistic foreigner who exploits our resources and does not have the decency to pay for it. He lies and manipulates to get the better end of the deal. He is a thief.

I'm sure he is somewhere in the middle. A combination of everyone's idea of who he is. A hero, a thief, and a pat morita clone. But like house said, reality is irrelevant. Everything is really just perception.


Okay, since i was baking while listening to cheche, im not sure sa figures.


Flourless chocolate cake available at compulsive eaters for only 380.00. order na.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Around ten years ago, I told someone (jenni i think) that I would be happier if I gave birth to a litter of boxer pups than human babies. If that had happened, I wouldn't have been freaked out. Wouldnt have complained or anything. I would have just assumed that God loved me enough to give me that extra bucket of happiness that only dogs can give.

I recently read an article about a new hybrid of a pug (love pugs) and a beagle (LOVE beagles) christened PUGGLE.

God how cute noh.

When I told my brother bob about it, he told me about this other hybrid of a labrador and a poodle christened LABRADOODLE.

Slight mixed emotions ako dito. I need to meet an actual labradoodle first before i can have a solid opinion of them cos baka lang hindi sila photogenic.

And then, home came pats with his story of a dog with narcolepsy. Narcoleptic dogs - wow. Never have I felt so sad and laughed so hard at the same time. Well, at least, laughed so hard since guy goma.

rusty the dachshundand for the more heart-breaking
skeeter the poodle

And yesterday, I had lunch with riya, therese and jali when in came this bit of trivia (thanks to pretty jali) that the basenji does not bark.

Well color me purple and call me bruce (ha?!? - basta rumide ka nalang) but momma, if a dawg don't bark, would ya still call 'em dawgs?

Ay ewan. Hemingway, eto sya.


They don't bark. They growl, they yoddle, and they crow but no barking. ha?!? since all the dog im exposed to right now is the very barky slugger - this is really amazing.

I love these creatures!!!!!!!!

Okay God, you know that thing i said to jenni and repeated again in this blog, feel free to take me up on that.


In a related matter (related to promise), my good friend from law school proposed to his girlfriend last christmas.

Here's how he did it.

Christmas eve, he gave her a stuffed toy na dog.

New years eve or day or sometime thereafter, he gave her a ring with this pablo-neruda-must-be-kicking-himself-in-the-head-for-not-coming-up-with-it-himself-proposal.

are you ready for it?

here goes.

"last christmas, i gave you man's best friend. Tonight, I will give you a girl's best friend."

Naiyak yung girl. meron akong feeling na not because of love.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Why oh why do I keep doing this to myself?

1. I haven't eaten anything with a face since January 3, 2005. Thats two days short of a year and a half of, if you know me, impressive self-control. And yet why can't I seem to train myself to stop eating when im puking-level full na. Kailangan pa bang kumain pa kung dumating ka na sa point na tapikin ka lang sa likod eh susuka ka na. Hindi na diba? Eh bakit hindi ko kayang tumigil? Ilang beses ko na rin tong pinagdaanan. Ilang beses ko na rin tong pinagsisihan. Natututo ba ako? hindi. HINDI!

2. I have 3 major delivarables and 1 pitch presentation on monday. Naumpisihan ko na ba ang trabaho? Syempre hindi pa. So malamang, mamayang gabi, hindi na naman ako makakatulog sa kaba.


Ayoko na talaga maging ganito. Mamamatay ako ng maaga sa ganitong buhay eh. Busog na nga, kabado pa.

Monday, May 29, 2006


slugger hates children.

I miss carolina.

Friday, May 26, 2006

There is a land called Passiva Aggressiva...

... and you are its mayor.

-Patrick Dempsey as McDreamy-

Grey's Anatomy. I love this show. It's funny. It's smart. It's honest. It's painful. I just cant get enough of it.

And, of course, this one here.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


i'm gonna say it this once because it has to be said. and then i will bury it in my subconscious again and pretend its not true.

i miss being in love.

there. it's said.

and i have a feeling that the reason why i miss it these days is because of this guy. because i really really really love him.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

So why don't you leave already?


don't call me unnationalistic, don't call me an ingrate, don't call me a traitor to my country and don't call me an escapist. i want to leave. i've been wanting to leave since the day i found out that the world is so much bigger than isabela. i'm not leaving in search of greener pastures, i just want to see all the pastures out there - green, red, snow-covered.

okay, let me rephrase that.

it's not that i want to leave, i just really really really want to go somewhere else.

i want to ride a camel and see the pyramids of giza,
i want to ride a gondola and smell the waters of venice,
i want to play poker in a casino in monaco,
i want to party in ibiza and look for colin firth in london,
i want to avoid the landmines of vietnam and pose a-la lara croft in angkor wat,
i want to rapel down that clift in palawan and climb up mt. pulag

i want to be somewhere else. and when i get there, i know i will want to be someplace else again.

so why dont i leave already?


Note to self: be a doer ets. enough talk. lets do.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

eh ang saken lang naman

hindi lahat ng away pinapatulan
hindi lahat ng opinyon kailangan isigaw sa mundo
hindi lahat ng opinyon na taliwas sa yo eh kailangan batiin ng asim
baka may matutunan kang iba o makaintindi ka lalo kung shumut-up ka muna at makinig
at kung nakikinig ka muna bago mag-react, baka hindi ka ganyan kataba,
masyado ka kasing umi-eat your words eh

minsan kasi, okay na ang okay lang

in other words, wag masyadong masikip ang bra.

relax lang man.

relax lang.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Seasons of sweat (in collaboration with mamu, inspired by leoy)

to all pinoys who are frying under the philippine sun, sing with me now

525,600 celsius
525,000 people who sweat
525,000 different odors
from people sweating and looking all wet

In greenbelt
In landmark
In sm or even glori
In churches
in kalyes
like shaw boulevard

And even in PNBs
In banyos
In bancos
in our muslim brother's mosques

525,600 celsius
how do you measure the heat in this land?

what about hemps?
what about hemps?
what about hemps?
people with hemps
people with hemps
people with hemps

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Monday, April 24, 2006

A sunday with mommie

Sometimes we forget that people are more than the labels they wear in our lives. That mothers are more than mothers and aunts are more than their sisters. That they lived in interesting times with far more remarkable stories to tell. And that sometimes, the best way to spend a hot Sunday afternoon is to listen to them.

How did Abuela know that lolo was cheating on her?

It was a small town naman. Everybody knew already that papa was having an affair with his secretary. I think that when he wanted to leave her, he couldn’t because she was menor de edad and her father was the chief of police who threatened him. So he just stuck it out with her.

I think I know na why tita milagring doesn’t like lolo very much. Didn’t Naty beat her up once tita?

Ah yes. That Natividad with her mother and her brother chased after milagring on her way home from school and beat her up. She was only in grade 4 can you imagine. And she went home all dirty and bruised with bald patches of hair because they pulled it out. Buti nalang tunying and quiting saw what happened and stopped it.

What did lolo do when he found out?

He was in Manila at that time trying to win mama back. But when he came home and heard the stories, he believed the version of Natividad.

Ets / Ana (in unison):
Ha?!? How can he do that?

Because this natividad claimed that Milagring was calling her the four-letter word (PUTA!) But actually it was your tita marilou who was really very angry at her and who shouted the four-letter word everytime she would see them. But marilou was the strong one so they couldn’t touch her, so they ganged up on milagring.

And when papa went home and found out, naku, he really beat up marilou and blamed her for what happened to milagring.

Ets / Ana (again in unison):

You know, after that, marilou locked herself up in the room for 4 days and did not come out. She was just in the corner, crying. Lola tried to calm her down but she really wouldn’t stop. She just kept saying over and over that nobody loved her and that no one was gonna take care of her.

So mama called me up in tears cos I was also in Manila at that time and she told me to please come home and look after my sister. So I left school and went home and stayed with Marilou until she was better. Kawawa naman.


Ang kapal. Why were they so angry ba?

Because my lola refused to let them in the big house. And for Naty that would have been the greatest recognition. But my lola was firm and she really told her one day that the only in-law I will ever receive in this house is Victoria. So Naty was very frustrated.

Papa kept on trying to sneak them in but my Lola never accepted them. One time, this Naty was really crazy ha, one time she even pretended that she was possessed by my Lolo.

She went there to the ancestral house and with a deep voice said “I am Paco. Come here and give me a kiss. And please let Natividad live here so I can live here again.”

My lola just looked at her and said “My god you’re crazy. You’re not Paco. You’re Naty and you’re not welcome here.”

Ets / Ana (laughing so hard):
No way! Really? She pretended to be possessed?

Yes. And my God how she got the whole town believing ha. Even your tita marissa went there to the farm to have a conversation with “paco.”

And you know one afternoon, I saw naty in town and I really went to talk to her because I’ve been hearing that Papa wasn’t sleeping anymore because of her craziness. So I told her “hoy, What are you trying to do? Are you trying to kill my father with these ridiculous stories of yours?”

You know what she did, she looked at me and said “Why are you afraid of me? I am paco.”

So I told her “You are not Paco. You are crazy. And you are the kabit of my father do you hear me? You are not Paco, You are the kabit!”

Ets / Ana:
hahahahahhahahahahahahaha. My God she was really crazy noh.

Tapos one time, papa tried to bring that natividad and Maryanne to the big house (Maryanne is their first-born child) because Maryanne was sick raw. You know I couldn’t stop myself. I was already married but I went to the big house to throw them out. That was the ultimate insult already. And I knew that the best way to hurt Naty was to hurt her daughter so I drove her out of the house.

And papa was there and he stopped me ha. He had the nerve to tell me that I had no heart. I told him “Why? Where was her heart when she beat up Milagring? Where was yours?”

Do you think Abuelo regretted it in the end?

Yes. He did. You know, a few months before he died when he was already losing his sight, he started calling out for us and and mama. And naty told him that we had all already died, can you imagine? Naku, how he cried when he was told that. And Zeny (my aunt who lived right beside them) literally heard him howling through the night in agony. So finally the next morning, she went there to ask how papa was doing and when papa asked her if it was true that his children and Victoria had died, she told him that we were all still alive and in Manila. You know, he got down on his knees raw talaga and started thanking the Lord that we were okay and he just kept on crying.

Ets (teary-eyed):
God, really?

Yeah. He died a lonely man. How sad.


My mother is the 3rd of 8 children. That’s 8 not counting that 2 my Abuelo had with Natividad.

Its funny how the first 4 have such wonderful memories of my lolo while the younger ones had no amor for him at all. They were the ones who were greatly affected by his adultery. They were the ones who walked the streets in old tattered shoes while his daughters with Naty paraded around town with new shoes and matching bags.


Men suck!

Monday, April 10, 2006

COMPULSIVE EATERS - the resurrection

The logo needs redoing.
The products need tweaking.
The line needs finalizing.
And the owner needs some financing.

But the passion and the energy is back baby yeah!!!!

let's do this. and this time let's do this all the way.

Friday, April 07, 2006

I give you frodo, the light of elindil

President Arroyo had her 12th birthday a couple of days back. In celebration, the New York Times came out with a lovely editorial piece entitled "Dark Days for Philippine Democracy." The editorial pretty much called PGMA a would-be dictator and implored their President Bush to caution ours not to cross over to the dark side.

PGMA's people (from the presidential spokesperson to our ambassador to the US) are, of course, desperately scrambling to defend her. They say that the opposition's "irresponsible political efforts are impacting international perceptions." They are, yet again, justifying the reasons behind the president's actions these past couple of months. They, as expected, refuse to see that maybe, just maybe, the editorial's concerns are valid and should be considered the next time they have a cabinet meeting. That these 'perceptions' are in fact reflections of what is.

I am embarrassed to admit that I've been too tired and too busy to give a shit about what has been going on. When she declared a state of emergency last february 24, I was busy launching a spa. When I heard that she ordered the arrest of Randy David and several others, I remember briefly thinking "Wow! Marcos is back!" and went on ahead to make sure that the floating candles were lit and the ushers briefed. And when i found out that the military were closely monitoring opposition publications, tv and radio stations, i thought "ahhh... that isnt right" and then proceeded to google what hair style i wanted and where i should get it from.

However, now that my hair has been cut (3 times at that) and the spa has been launched and other projects are done, i have no more excuse to ignore what is up with this country.

The truth is that the future scares me. This country is thirsty for a leadership that is bigger than one leader. This country is hungry for a government that will put the needs of its people first and political agendas last.

In 1986, the world watched in awe as millions of Filipinos came together to drive a dictator to exile in a revolution that did not see a single drop of blood. Today, the world is watching still, but this time in fear, cos we seem to be heading back to where we started.

I dont want to second guess the president. I will give her the benefit of the doubt, because I'm a piscean who believes in the good of people, that she is acting as a president who wants the best for this country. But when you claim that you're protecting democracy by curtailing it, especially when its still highly unnecessary, may pagka nonsense ka ata sa part na yon.

You're farting paranoia ma'am and it stinks all the way to New York.

So to you frodo, on your birthday, I give you the light of elindil. May it allow you to see beyond your paranoia and acknowledge that maybe your detractors have a point. If you just pry yourself away from your cha-cha campaign, I'm sure you will see this.


Yesterday, the US ambassador to the Philippines was interviewed about her take on the New York Times editorial. Sabi nya "We are happy (or proud - i forget) that the media are free to express their opinions in our country." or something to that effect.

tsk tsk tsk


Although hwag naman sanang seryosohin ng US ang concern nila sa democracy natin noh. Baka feeling big brother na naman etong mga kanong to at pasukin tayo.

tsk tsk tsk

Thursday, March 30, 2006


a very muffled but still quite audible screech escaped me when i saw him last night. a screech that lasted a good ten seconds.

i wanted to stop in front of him and say "i'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. so choose me. love me. marry me." but i was fully aware that not even my charms can straighten this road.

but it was the highlight of my day. actually, it was the highlight of my month.

so, in the immortal words of a then-unknown tony gonzaga.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006

TUESDAY: NEW FRIENDS (Thank You Universe series)

at my age, new friends come in trickles. maybe its because at some point i just got tired of having to introduce who i am again to someone new and have to explain why i dont drive, or why i dont have savings, or why i dont have a boyfriend. maybe its because at my age, i just dont want to waste my time with small talk and idle chit chat that may or may not lead to geniune friendships. maybe its because i think i already have all the the friends that i need and have no time or no room for more.

but in the past year, i have to say that i made a number of new, good friends that i would like to invite to be part of my wedding entourage.

IRENE - who could possibly be, i shit you not, funnier than me.
CARMEN - who, just like sally, thinks she's low maintenance when she's actually high maintenance. very high maintenance. and that is perfectly okay.
TIM - absolutely the nicest and most grounded man i've ever met. probably one of the hottest too.
INGRID and JENNY - the only time i truly enjoyed shopping was when i did it with these two.
MAREX - just because.
TOVE - the best roommate ever.

Friday, March 24, 2006


appreciation is a good thing. so everyday i will be thankful for something in this world.

it started last friday and i made a mental note of the things that i was grateful for from then till yesterday.


for this one, i will be makata about it.

Ako ay nagpapasalamat
sa dakilang monggo
na ubod ng sarap
ginataan man o guisado
gilingin mo man at balutin
mala hopia ng eng bi tin
ang mongo ay isang very
good source of protein


I spent the weekend in tagaytay with CISV peeps for staff training. Ang sarap ng hindi imperyeno ang init.


On good days, i truly believe that what we do will make a difference someday.

On bad days, i've met a whole bunch of incredibly funny and smart people who will sing the moose song with me.

Eitherway, CISV is a win-win come rain or come shine.


YM is really one of the best things in the world. And stealth settings is a big factor why.

a general state of blah

don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. im just saying it as it is - my life, for the past month, birthday hoopla and all, is in a general state of limbo. Neither here nor there. Not bad but not good. Not sad but not happy. Not desperately boring but not terribly exciting either.

i am not a passionate person. again not a complaint, just a fact. and i think this is not the first time i've said this here. i have this horrible ability to detach myself from situations or emotions or even people. i'm not quite sure anymore if i still do it consciously or if, because of years of training, i've just naturally evolved into this person who automatically shuts off that part of her brain that allows herself to feel more than okay for something.

it would be nice to be excited about something for real. to be inspired for real. to be driven for real. to feel for real. even if it means being disappointed for real. or being rejected for real.

hmmmm... should i change the title of this blog to "for real."

Monday, February 27, 2006

Suck it up!

I learned it late but I learned it well. We live with the choices we make. And It's best to assume that we wont be given the opportunity to undo the bad ones so we have to try our friggin best to get it right every chance we get.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Hey you! do not mock my pain!

So when i tell you that my right ear is really painful, you be overly concerned and acknowledge my fear that i might have a tumor there. You do not just tell me that its probably just a pimple.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Note to self

Ets, please remember that you are not the type to move on quickly. Think of that the next time a month-long life-altering experience is on the table.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Partners in Peace

I'm so happy i'm gonna rhyme!

55 happy faces
from 14 different places
a mix of colors and races
some plain and some with braces

Hee hee

Seriously, It was a beautiful month and I pray that my rotting memory will remember each one of them and each day of it forever.

Sunday, January 08, 2006


quickie lang to promise.

we went on our village outing kanina and we were brought to some lose water park na mas malinis pa ang tubig sa cityland pool. And since i was tamad to shave my legs and also too tamad to freeze to death, i didnt swim and was just walking around and stuff.

And then suddenly, some indian boy, who was about 15 years old or so, came up to me and said "excuse me, may i have a snap with you?" while pointing to his camera. So si ets medyo gulat na nagtanong ng "ah... why?" and the man just shyly said "you are gorgeous."


so after some "no im shy" - "but dont be shy" repeated exchange. Nagpapicture na rin ako.