Get off your high horses so i can box you both in the head

Okay, this is gonna be quick because i have to run to a meeting but i also have to vent because im very upset.

1. To my friend's vegetarian friend who said i shouldnt call myself a vegetarian because i started eating oysters, clams, and shrimps again because i didnt want to deprive myself of all that is good in this world -

You arrogant moron and a half, you can take your vegetarian label and stick it up your constipated ass because I DONT WANT IT. If you're doing this because you genuinely care for animals, then i suggest you get down on your knees and kiss my feet because I'm helping you save them regardless of my reasons. And if you can't see past my reasons for doing it cos maybe you think its stupid that im doing it because of a promise i made to God or because I break out in hives when I eat meat or because I just simply prefer vegetables to meat, then you just shut your ugly mouth before i send a decapitated horse's head to your bed tonight.

2. To my client who spent two hours of my time back-biting his brother in law because the brother in law is rich and he's not -


You pretentious angry old man, you stop pretending that money means nothing to you when you've based your entire hatred for your brother in law on the fact that he has it and you don't. You're no different from the gold diggers who cant see past the dollar sign except that you dont cling to the rich, you run away from them even if they turn out to be nice guys in the end. You told me that you hate it that he's proud of being rich, well thats not any different from you being proud of being poor. You think i think of you now as a humble, principled man who doesn't let money get in the way of his rationality? No sir, you're just a bitter, proud man who's making his wife miserable because he refuses to get along with her brother.

okay, i have to go to my meeting now.