the widow in yellow

I admit it. I'm easily start struck. Gary V. comes to our table for a quick 'hey ordinary mortal, im acknowledging your presence' chitchat and I cannot put one coherent thought together. I see piolo from a distance and I turn to mush. I can't even begin to imagine what an encounter with ate shawie will do to me. Yup, I'm a mega fan - always will be by virtue of the fact that I always have been.

However, there is another group of personalities that never fail to leave me in awe - politicians. I know, i know - I can't be serious right? well, I am. I know it's hard to believe that in a world like ours and at a time like now where every public official and their spouses are judged corrupt without due process, I still hold them in high esteem. I guess its because deeply buried under my jaded, suspicious mind is the naive little girl who grew up believing that politicians are primarily public servants. Servants of the people who have sacrificed private life and corporate pay to make sure that we live in a system that works for the majority. I like that I have a government that looks out for me and makes sure I'm treated fairly.

Given my job and who i work for, I've had my fair close encounters with politicians. And given who I am, I've had my fair share of stupid conversations with them. I take full responsibility for the stupid, they can take credit for the conversations.

Anyway, one figure that never fails to make me stare is former President Corazon Aquino. She doesn't walk in with a lot of fanfare, no fireworks, no cheerleaders. And, since shes always in yellow and the biggest smile, she brings the sunshine with her anywhere she goes. And calm - she brings that with her too. An aura of serenity that will not break in battle.

I wonder about her sometimes. About how she went through what she did and come out smiling in yellow.

She was married to a man she had to share with a country. Was she ever tempted to make him choose? Her or his politics… Their children or the millions who saw him as their messiah…

And when he eventually made his choice, did she feel defeated a little?

And when she lost him so publicly, was she given a chance to mourn privately? Not to mourn for the hero but for the man she shared her bed with. Not to cry for the martyr but for the man who made her laugh.

And now, 23 years after she was widowed, is she still in mourning? When she watches the clips of her husband lying dead on the tarmac, does she still feel the hurt of losing him all over again?

She was left to fend for herself, for her family and, eventually, for her country under the watchful eye of a public that was as eager to see her fail as they were to see her succeed. She was forced into a foreign arena by the promise and the memory of her dead husband where she had to single-handedly 'restore a democracy' and 'rebuild a nation'. Big tasks for a "housewife" but she did her best and she pulled it off.... somewhat.

And My God she must be a good mother. I have long since decided that Great mothers do not necessarily produce the best children. Great mothers are great mothers because they can still bring themselves to accept, defend and love the worst in their children.


I really think she's a good woman. I really really wish her all the happiness in the world.

CORY!
CORY!
CORY!