don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. im just saying it as it is - my life, for the past month, birthday hoopla and all, is in a general state of limbo. Neither here nor there. Not bad but not good. Not sad but not happy. Not desperately boring but not terribly exciting either.
i am not a passionate person. again not a complaint, just a fact. and i think this is not the first time i've said this here. i have this horrible ability to detach myself from situations or emotions or even people. i'm not quite sure anymore if i still do it consciously or if, because of years of training, i've just naturally evolved into this person who automatically shuts off that part of her brain that allows herself to feel more than okay for something.
it would be nice to be excited about something for real. to be inspired for real. to be driven for real. to feel for real. even if it means being disappointed for real. or being rejected for real.
hmmmm... should i change the title of this blog to "for real."