THEORY 1:
7 months ago, while walking to 719 to hang with adi, two men jumped me from behind and did that thing that kung fu peeps do to their kalabans to knock them down cold and raped me under the skyway. They were decent enough to clean me after and fix the 'scene of the crime' to make it seem that I just fainted. They were however not responsible enough to put on a condom.
I then wake up thinking that I did just faint and went on my way.
As a result, I am now 7 months pregnant.
THEORY 2:
When I had the lumps in my armpit taken out years ago, the doctors were not able to remove it completely. The cyst has since fallen from the pits and found new home in my stomach where it bided its time waiting for the day when it will manifest itself as a tumor of hydrocephalic proportions.
That time has come.
THEORY 3:
Again, 7 months ago, strapped for cash and caught in a moment of desperation, I walked the streets of makati av. selling my sex for money. One brave man bought. So I had sex with him, unprotected at that, because I didnt want to waste more money on rubbers.
I was immediately filled with shame and guilt right after that I gave all the money to charity and blocked it from my memory completely.
I am now 7 months pregnant.
THEORY 4:
Immaculate conception and now 7 months pregnant.
THEORY 5:
Kanin. ang daming kanin sa mundo.
*Above are my theories on why my stomach is suddenly the biggest thing on earth.
5 comments:
yeah.. it grew a bit when I last saw "the stomach." but never, you have a beautiful face (and I have a bigger stomach).
My theory: Three nights ago, you were abducted by aliens. And as part of their experimentation and research program, they've injected you with their.. you know... and now, you're carrying the very first human-alien hybrid. Isn't that fantastic!
hahahahhahahahah!
I think these are fantasies rather than theories. hehe.
This is just funny! :D
my theory: you swallowed a bowling ball.
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