It’s been so long since I slept through the night. But I make up for it at work where one can find me passed out in the conference room between 10 to 11 in the morning and/or 3 to 4 in the afternoon with a thread of spit leaking out my mouth.
My ankles have disappeared completely and there are certain parts of me I have not seen for some time now. To make up for that, my belly has expanded to the size of a marching band, arriving a destination 5 minutes before I do as if to clear the area to make room for the rest of me.
Nothing fits. Not my clothes, not my shoes, and certainly not my once cute little bulbous nose. It, too, has outgrown my face.
And the heat that emanates from each and every molecule of my being, OH EM GEE THE FUCKING HEAT, has turned my body into a pyromaniac’s wet dream. Light a match within three feet of me and I will blow up.
I am irritable and exhausted most of the time. And to be honest, I probably want to punch you every time I see you. Yes. You. Whoever you are.
Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade places with the most comfortable person in the world. There is nothing I will undo. Nothing I will do differently.
I'm only whining because, well, just like Chris Lao, I was sooooo not informed.