My goal here

I have to be honest, it's been really rough. I've always been surrounded by people all my life (being popular and all) and then suddenly, I find myself alone. Eating out alone, having coffee alone, walking around alone. But I am getting used to it. Now, I only fight back tears half the time I used to.

Anyway, there are two things I've come to accept since I got here.

1. There can only be one group that I can call CHUMS. I've always known this but it has never hit home until now. I never came here with the intention of replacing them. I knew that would be impossible. But I thought that I could build friendships that would at least have half the fun. Now, I am just willing to settle for company sometimes.

2. I am slowly beginning to be okay with that. I always thought that this experience would be more of a journey to self-discovery more than it would be a party. So my goal now is not to stop eating out alone or having coffe alone and walking around alone. What I want now is to be able to do all of these things and be able to do them happily.

There is a hawaiian or polynesian saying that goes "YOU ARE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR." So in the next __ months, I will get to know myself, appreciate myself, and celebrate myself.

I say "I LOVE MYSELF" all the time. Now, I actually have to mean it.

*****

I just want to say that I LOVE MY CHUMS!!! and i miss all of you very much. Please visit me na.