Dear Ets,

Well well well, look do we have here. A bun in the oven. A baby in the belly. A fetus in the innards. And so soon after the wedding that came so soon after the proposal that came so soon after the relationship. My, my, aren’t we living life on fast forward these days?

First things first, I believe congratulations are in order. You are fertile after all. Good job. Felicitations, too, for easily making drach a willing accomplice to this. Let’s face it, that was the bigger, sweeter feat. Very well done.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk shall we?

Ets, I’ve known you for 37 years. You are still the lazy, happy-go-lucky, under achiever you were in grade 5. This casual attitude you’ve taken that has, admittedly, protected you from some of life’s humbling blows has got to change somehow. You give up easily and you fail quite yieldingly. You could have been such a big loser but, fortunately, you’re able to bounce back as easily. But now, you have to start taking yourself more seriously.

You know how when people ask you why you never seem stressed and you tell them in a firm and resolute voice that seem to carry with it the wisdom of Solomon that “you know what, I don’t save lives. If I bungle a direction from client, no one dies.”

Well, guess what child, this thing that you are about to do is the greatest life-saving project you will ever be a part of.

DO NOT FUCK THIS UP.

You have been entrusted with the care of a human life. I’m sorry ets, and I’m sorry to all the feministas that might stumble upon this blog, but nothing you will ever do will ever be as important as this. Please take this seriously. Never mind that your only qualification is wanting this too much for too long. Find a way to make this work.

So I’ve taken everything I know about you and made you a list of how you could make this work. Refer to it please whenever you can.  

1. Do not pass on your fears to your child
Its bad enough that you could be passing on your hips to your child but please do not pass on your fears. Let him explore, let him climb, let him fly. It is not your place to hold him back. Just make sure you're there if he falls and hurts himself.

 2. Communicate
I know you always want to keep things light and breezy. So you ask about the fun and funny things and tend to ignore what lies deeper. Find a balance please. Ask him about his new crush but also ask him about his insecurities and fears. Yes, even if he’s only three.  

3. Be honest
You owe this child honesty, so that he may hear it graciously and that he may give it tactfully. If he writes a bad song like anna banana, tell him “anak, medyo masama eto. Wag mo nalang siguro ipost sa youtube. Halika makinig tayo ng eheads. Nagsulat rin sila ng kanta tungkol sa fruit. Actually fruitcake. Pero simple rin lang pero may konting lalim.”  

4. Open your mind.
You are as much a student in this as he is. This child will grow up in a different world in a different time. Learn it with him. Understand it with him. Do not let him be an alien to you and vice versa.  

5. teach your child kindness.
While you’ve always believed in the inherent goodness of man, you’ve come to realize that you might be a little wrong. The potential to be good, to be kind, that is what is inherent. Not goodness itself. Some people are born strong, some are born intelligent, but you don’t believe that anyone is born either kind or unkind. Kindness is taught. It is nurtured and encouraged. Teach him to be kind and remember that the best way to do that is to practice it yourself.

Okay that’s about it. Good luck chum.

Love, Ets  

As of this writing, i still don't know the gender of my child so i used him / he. wala lang.