AN ODE TO DRACH, RIYA AND RYAN (from me and tracy)

to the tune of 4-non-blondes' what's up?

25 years and your blogs are still
trying to say that same old thing
you wrote
there is no new addition

Drachler almost lost his life
Riya wants to make ets her wife
And ry… Chismis computation

And so we pray sometimes when we open your blogs
That you’ve somehow moved on like millennium clogs
We say hey
What’s going on?

And when we wake in the morning and we check your stuff
It’s the same old thing
Enoughs enough
We say hey
Whats going on?

And we say hey yeh yeh yeh
hey yeh yeh
we say hey
write on your blogs

And we say hey yeh yeh yeh
hey yeh yeh
we say hey
write on your blogs

hay mr. d.j.

the first two lines of the love song i heard on the radio this morning...

i hope that you're the one
if not, you are the prototype

never thought i'de see the day when i'de hear the word prototype in a love song.

God bless this group who call themselves OutKast.

kainis

i think i've officially lost my shea butter body butter.


I AM SO UPSET!!!

remember my name... FAME!!!

15 minutes is, according to wise men who have come before us, all the fame time we get in a lifetime. As to the degree of popularity each individual gets, they didnt specify. They also failed to expound on the unmerited privilege of others (like celebs) to usurp the fame time of the ordinary janes in this world. I believe that Juday's running fame time came at my expense. She ate up my 15 minutes displaying her friggin jaw all over the place while i wither in obscurity, destined to die in anonymity.

I can see my funeral now. 20 people around my casket (30 tops), a quarter of them geniunely grieving, the rest just suffering the heat of manila memorial, waiting for me to be buried so they can go on with their busy schedules.

Im really gonna make multo people who do not cry at my wake okay. Im really gonna.

And also, i would like some child to be named after me. I have a beautiful name naman eh - ETLERS.

for keeping the love in me alive

today, for some odd reason or other, i am writing about two of the bestest people in my life. a couple who have long held the "favorite" label in my books.

JOEL.
- Has been in and out of my life since puberty.
- Was one of the six guests in my 14th birthday party, 4 of which i had probably only talked to that night.
- Was the constant 3rd wheel that gave the niv-ets relationship fun stability. I now happily return the favor :)
- Is always up at two in the morning. A comforting bit of information to bored insomiacs like myself. Our "what if" situationers were highlights of text conversations.
- Has just canon-balled into his dream pool, backed only by a handful of cash and a loadful of people who believe in him.
- and yes, is, without a doubt, easy on the eyes.

TRACY
- The only person who has seen me at my weakest, wimpiest, sorriest state. (kinaya mo ba yon trace?)
- Has a family that i want to adopt as my own when i get tired of mine.
- One of four people in my life that i would give up a kidney for.
- Someday, on my deathbed, i will look back on my good days and will not be surprised if she's in 70% of them.
- sometimes, i think my mother wants to trade me for her. and you know what, i completely understand why.

JOEL AND TRACY

It was her birthday and she didnt have a lot of money left having spent a lot already for dinner. And for him, it was that time of the year when his financials were in dire straits. they stopped over for beer and stuff at a store that night, and she was slightly nervous as the cashier was adding up the cases of beer she had bought for the party. And then she looked over at him and the shit-i-have-no-money-na panic look on her face was instantly replaced with sudden concern as she asked him "babe, dont you want to get coke for your rhum coke?"

He did. i could tell that he did. it was so obvious that he did. But he knew where she was so instead he said, in the shyest-mode i've seen him since i've met him, "no its okay. im fine."

It was such a simple gesture really.

Or actually, when you think about it, it wasnt.

sometimes, i am a nonsense!

you know how sometimes, brought about by boredom or whatever, you ask yourself a question and you come up with what you think is a brilliant answer that, in your head, makes sooooo much sense until you start asking people the same question and suddenly the answer that you've already thought of just seems so......... stupid.

ETS: whats your greatest fear?
THERESE: {pauses and breathes deeply} never knowing what my purpose in life is
ETS: {slight nanliit} ahhh... how serious naman
THERESE: why? whats yours?
ETS: uhm.... losing my teeth

*************************************************************************

way, way back (high school pa to)


ETS: what is the one thing na you wish you invented nalang?
LEOY: CT scan
ETS: talaga? si guada TV
LEOY: ikaw?
ETS: mayonnaise

I LOVE MYSELF!!!

mansyon

this is, i believe, the first time i've ever brought the movie, the one that will have the chums fun schedule on sporadic pauses in the next month, up in my blog. Last night, i finally got into it.

while our role (gigis and mine)-(also adis pala) is not that "crucial" in the great scheme of creating the cinematic genius that mansyon is bound to become, it is nonetheless, uhm.... important. as any true foodie on the set would attest to.

okay - so it wasnt fillet mignon or prawns thermidore- it was good food all around and the people there appreciated it.

my personal pride was when rosslyn/roselyn/rosalyn/rosaline (aka dolores) broke a month and a half of pork fast for my binagoongan and did not have a moments regret after. hay.... i love her na.

also loved gigis sinigang soup. although im not a fan of bangus unless its daing (kasi sometimes it tastes like soil eh), i really loved that dish.

Dessert was vanilla ice cream courtesy of bachii and also barquillos from deesj.

anyway, mansion.

im not gonna pretend to know what im talking about here but i do have have 6 film units to my credit from doy del mundo so im gonna say what i will anyway. as of this point, i've only read the script and if the watch is as good as the read then mansyon is bound to be fantastic.

as fantastic as its director and creator.
as fantastic as its production manager.
as fantastic as its photographer and sound engineers.
as fantastic as monsters role (which escapes me at this point)
as fantastic as all the people i met last night.

realm of possibilities

A long time ago, I forget exactly when, I saw an episode of the twilight zone where a man met the part of himself that chose to go to war in Vietnam. As was later explained in the episode, that man, ten years earlier, was faced with the decision of going or not when he was drafted. He chose not to.

Ten years, a wife, a daughter and a war later, the man was still questioning whether he made the right decision. Apparently, it was the toughest one he had to make yet and he always wondered how different his life would have been had he gone.

As it turned out, as was revealed to him by a man in a wheelchair who showed up at his doorstep one night, a man who vaguely resembled him, he lost a leg in battle.

The man in the wheelchair was the part of him that made the decision to go and went.

Weird but such is life in the twilight zone.

Anyhoo, I was trying to take a nap when I remembered this story. And it got me thinking. How would my life be different if I had chosen to take another road from the one I actually took at one particular point.

What if I did drop that subject in law school and went on to become a lawyer?
What if I decided to stay in UST and went on to become a doctor?
What if I really did lose weight in one of my attempts to diet and exercise?
What if I took a cab instead of the shuttle this morning to work?

How different would my life be now? Would I be happier? Funnier? Richer?

In the movie sliding doors, gwyneth’s missing the subway spelled the difference between happiness and misery. Could it have possibly spelled mine when I went home earlier the other night when I could have stayed longer?

My world as I know it could have easily taken a 180 if I had done just one thing differently.

To someone like me, someone who jumps in the river to only later remember that she cant swim, the realm of possibilities that is out there and open to us is both empowering and paralyzing. On the one hand, there is a lot of room for promise, on the other, a lot of room for blame. On the one hand, liberation. On the other, dire consequences.

I’ve always claimed to believe in destiny. I’ve always claimed that I am exactly where I am suppose to be at any given point in time. The truth is, I don’t really believe that. I say that only because it is comforting. Because it allows me to shrug off responsibility a little because I can always just cry “but that’s life!” When things don’t work out, I allow myself to take a deep breath, sigh and say “hay…. buhay.”

My truth is though, when I am strong enough to say it, is this -

I have brought myself to where I am now. I have made myself into who I am now. My failures, as are my successes (few though they may be) are, solely and absolutely, mine to claim. In difficult times, these cute pudgy hands of mine will not be pointing fingers. Neither will they be applauding for anyone else in better days.

in a galaxy far far away

in a parallel universe, i am not an underpaid corporate slave to ego-tripping clients.

in a parallel universe, i am married and three months pregnant in sorrento.

solitaire

no, no, no. this blog is not about being alone or lonely or any of that parmigiano reggiano. last nights blog was a moment of weakness. ipagpatawad nyo na. tao rin lang po ako.

anyhoo, this blog is about the wonderful world of solitaire card play, and all of its derivatives that i have come to know and enjoy this past week.

a rundown and instructional manual of sorts;

the ones i already knew.

1. the simple one - hawakan ang deck of cards sa kanang kamay at i-enumerate lahat ng numbers at tao habang isa-isang binababa ang cards ng kaliwang kamay. ang object ay dapat hindi magtugma ang enumerated number sa card na naibaba.

example:
ace - ang naibaba ay four - go ka pa
two - ang naibaba ay queen - go ka pa
three - ang naibaba ay 9 - go ka pa
four - ang naibaba ay 4 - naku!!! lagot!!! patay.

kung mabuo mong maenumerate ang 13 cards 4 times na hindi tumama kahit minsan sa binabang card, matutupad ang wish mo.

2. your basic solitaire (also now known for me as a fun party experience with ryan and ramir)

alam nyo nato. meron nito sa windows.

3. equals 13 - yan yang gagawa kayo ng pyramid of cards faced down upto level 6, and seventh level up. you can take out two cards that add up to 13. ex K=13, Q+A+13, J+2=13, 6+7=13.

you get the drill.

Bagong salta

4. ang tinuro ni tracy - maglatag ka ng 4 cards dyan sa lamesa tapos pag may dalawang suit na pareho, itabi ang pinaka mababa. kung okay na ang first set, magbaba ng panibago at itabi ulit ang pinaka mababa. ang object ng game ay dapat puro alas nalang ang maiwan at everything else ay naitabi.

nakabuo na ako nito. yahoo!!!

5. ang tinuro ni adi - or ang tinatawag nating -GODS its a math. ilalatag mo isa-isa ang cards dyan at dapat may three consecutive cards that will add up to 10,20 or 30.

aaminin ko na, ang speed ko while doing this ay very balancing assets and liabilities. longer.

6. ang tinuro ni vives (OO! ni vives!) na coincindentally enough ay tinatawag na sudden death (hahahahaha!!! diba very vives). anyway, ang ganda ng game na ito. the objective is for all the cards to end up lang in one pile. and im so tamad na to explain the mechanics.

anway, i love solitaire. sino kaya tong mga taong ito na nagiisip lang ng games na ito ano?

parang i want to invent my own.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

in the past two weeks that i've been buried neck deep in work, i havent failed to notice the little signs everywhere that christmas is on its way. nights are fresco-er, days are not as scorching. last week i heard my first christmas carol for the year, jose mari chan reminding me not to forget the love i have for jesus. three days ago, cabbing back to the office, was a little surprised to see several parols outside cabalen.

i've always loved christmas. in the past couple of years though, christmas has left a rather bitter taste in my mouth. the kind that you just cant wash off with presents and holiday cheer. as far as associations go, christmas has always been about him. and hard as i try to forget, at christmas i remember.

tonight, i allow myself to wallow a little and to mourn, yet again, for all that i've lost. and for those who wont allow me as much, just close this page and move on to the next blog.

i miss him. i miss holding his hand. i miss kissing him. i miss the feeling of security when he was around because i knew, without a doubt, that nothing would harm me - not while he was there. most of all, i miss the person i was when i was with him. if you think i'm happy now, you should have seen me then. whole and complete. not quite the sap that i have become.

i have somehow convinced myself that the reason moving on has been quite a struggle was because it was not just about letting go of him, it was also about letting go of who i was. and although i suppose that i am probably a much better person for it, i am nonetheless broken and forever scarred.

i'm not in love with him anymore. i no longer hope that he comes back to me one day. but he will always be the one thing in my life that i would have given up everything for. and he will always be the one thing in my life who would have given up everything for me. and that, despite all the assholic things he has done since, is what i take with me.

sayang, had it worked, our story could have been one for the books. if it isn't already.

hmmmm.....

Your a Unicorn! Unicorns are pure, innocent,
magestic creatures that have a spiraling white
horn growing out of their forehead, and a white
graceful, horses body. Unicorns represent the
sign of purity, innocence, freindship, healing,
rejeventation, and truth. Your horn is rare
prized, but you tend to be naive, lured by a
childs cry. Unicorns are reare, beautiful ans
shy mythical creatures, and you are lucky to be
one.


What Mythical Beast are you?
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arkeo media

who would have thought peanuts could buy me a great avp?

GOOD JOB GUYS!!!

now comes the hardest part, payments. naku!!!