me, myself and i

last night after cd's exhibit at saguijo (where the music was superb), the chums played one of its favorite games "sino sa chums ang....?"

i was declared the winner in two categories (it would have been unanimous too except i contested both)

I am, according to my chums (and some fucking chums these peeps are)

THE MOST NARCISSISTIC
and
THE MOST ANNOYING

let's consult mr. webster shall we. (actually dictionary.com - anyhoo)

nar·cis·sism
Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one's own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
The attribute of the human psyche characterized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

okay, so they do have a point here noh. let me, however, repeat what i said last night and please forgive the obvious cry for help.

The reason why i love myself so much is because nobody else does :( and besides, really lets be honest, what's not to love :)

Also, let me point out, that i have insecurities beyond measure which is probably why i overcompensate with narcissism. What is perceived as self-love maybe just a smokescreen to take away the focus from my desperation to hold on to the little self esteem that i have.

BUT WAIT....

As an adjective, narcissistic is defined as characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance

I actually do not.

Life goes on without me and it will go on happily. I have no delusions that i am indispensable or even remotely consequential.

And as much as it pains me to admit it, the truth is, although i am greatly loved, i am not needed. And that is my heart-wrenching truth.

Now, if the basis of being narcissistic is having an inflated idea of their own importance, then joel passes me by a mile.

Okay, annoying.

Yes, this is true. If i were not me watching me, i'd be annoyed by me too. I am loud and "malikot" and really too perky sometimes eh.

BUT , (of course there's always a but)

you have to admit, im quite adorable once you get to know me :)

DO I LOVE TALKING ABOUT ME OR WHAT?

some other categories last night;

Most matapobre - adi, as was blatantly obvious in his drunken state last saturday
Most likely to kill - deesj, rage is a dangerous thing
Most like to be rich (given a level playing field to start with) - joel and drach
Best singer - mamu or drach (i forget)
Best dancer - me
Best in english - mamu for me. although may humihirit na gigi. hindi ako nadadaan sa accent eh
Best in tagalog - si deesj daw
Lowest self esteem - tracy
Highest self esteem - Monster and then gigi (although sabi ni gigi umiiyak rin naman sya sa gabi)

********************************************************************

CUT to CUT to yesterday

I was trying to fix my officemate, lance, up with arrian who is one of my funniest and sexiest friend.

so i showed lance her picture and he said "she's very pretty but she looks like my cousin"

to which i replied of course "so?"

and he said "so?, can you even imagine kissing your cousin?"

if these pores could talk ano..

anyway, i quoted joel who quoted drach from way back when

WALANG PINSAN SA TITING TULISAN!

cut to cut to saguijo that night.

sinigaw lang sya ni diego onstage eh.