and the countdown begins...

i'll be home in 18 days. God. 18. That's nothing. Its three episodes of heroes. three trips to church. 1 friggin payday.

I am so excited. Sooooooo excited. So excited i wake up giddy every morning. Absolutely giddy. Now theres a word I hardly ever use but I'm using it now because thats exactly how I wake up every morning. Gi-effing-ddy!!!!

I cant wait to see my mama and papa. Cant wait to eat my sister's adobo. cant wait to hug michael. cant wait to listen to bobs jokes. cant wait to eat anything with pats. cant wait to shout at my lola (she's kinda deaf as most old people are). cant wait to hear slugger bark again.

And to have friends!!! by god how wonderful to have friends again.

And yet... (well of course may and yet, ganyan ang life eh, parang coin, may two sides)

I'm sure I will miss this place i have grudginly called home these past months. I will miss the independence, the solitude, the walks (with or without a flashlight), the dogs, the tricyles, the motorbikes, my veranda. I think I'll even miss doing the laundry.

I love this place. I think a small part of me will always think of this place as a sanctuary. A place i can run to to find some peace, some balance. But as sure as I was six months ago of moving, I'm just as sure now of leaving. And I'm happy to say that I do so still in love with the place.

Everytime I see the beach, everytime i watch the sunset, everytime i step in the water, I still find myself in complete awe. How beautiful naman talaga this place. I mean I know people who've been to the maldives will probably laugh at me for thinking this is paradise noh but to them i say "eh i havent been to the maldives eh. why ba?"

Anyway, while I am so excited about going home, Im also a wee bit scawed.

And I dont know what scares me the most actually - that things have changed too much or that they have not at all.