I just recently realized that I’m not at all comfortable having feelings. I mean I love to talk and I’m vocal about my opinions and my theories and I have no problems sharing them with anybody but feelings are an entirely different thing. I hide it, deny it, bottle it or pretend they’re something other than what they are. I don’t like being afraid or vulnerable or ridiculously happy or hopeful. When I start feeling these things a part of my brain turns around and runs to the opposite direction.
I envy people who can easily talk about their feelings. They walk in a room, sit down and casually, and some inarticulately, deliver a monologue of feelings both so complex and silly it deserves a sit-down with Oprah. And I listen amused, entertained and, yes, envious.
I am not made like that.
Apparently, I can only talk about my feelings when I’ve already detached myself from them. And talking about feelings you’ve already detached yourself from is as insane as thinking about wearing a shirt you’ve already given away.
The other night I had devastating news. I couldn’t talk about it until I was sure I could without breaking down. I’m afraid that if I give in to the fear, the universe will really act on it. So I allow myself to shrug off the severity of what I feel because acknowledging it would just be risking too much.
And so, I therefore conclude that I don’t like having feelings.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Hi. Just wanted to say a few things about...
Mafia Politics
A certain political leader of a major city in Mindanao made public a list that contained several names of known criminals in his territory. He gave them 15 days to get out of his town or else... All of them left. One came back. He was shot dead the day he did.
This city is known to be the most progressive and peaceful in the area.
I don’t know what surprises me more – that he did what he did or that it works.
The future of my country
The only thing that’s worse than me saying that the future of this country looks dismal is me knowing that I’m an optimist. That that’s the glass half full perspective because some say this country has no future at all.
Lotto mentality
Winning the lotto should never be plan A.
And Wowowee sure as hell isn’t plan B.
Heroes
I grew up to stories of real men and women who walked to school in worn-out slippers and tattered shirts to give themselves an education and who now run successful businesses and live in mansions.
Will our children have the same stories to tell their children?
We need more heroes.
A certain political leader of a major city in Mindanao made public a list that contained several names of known criminals in his territory. He gave them 15 days to get out of his town or else... All of them left. One came back. He was shot dead the day he did.
This city is known to be the most progressive and peaceful in the area.
I don’t know what surprises me more – that he did what he did or that it works.
The future of my country
The only thing that’s worse than me saying that the future of this country looks dismal is me knowing that I’m an optimist. That that’s the glass half full perspective because some say this country has no future at all.
Lotto mentality
Winning the lotto should never be plan A.
And Wowowee sure as hell isn’t plan B.
Heroes
I grew up to stories of real men and women who walked to school in worn-out slippers and tattered shirts to give themselves an education and who now run successful businesses and live in mansions.
Will our children have the same stories to tell their children?
We need more heroes.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER!
Been waiting for the perfect time to say that and here it finally is!
I feel invincible. I feel almighty. I feel immortal.
I am driving on a highway and the only thing ahead is a magical world of endless posibilidades!
WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!
Okay, seriously.
It’s been a little over a month since I got back from my radical sabbatical. I have since done the following;
Benevolently reclaimed my room. My grandma moved in while I was away and moved out when I got back. I did not ask her to. She graciously did so. And I never could say no to her.
Went back to work. In the same old place with the same old job wearing the same old clothes… except it feels absolutely new. Here’s the deal – I left a miserable job in march and came back to a promising career in october. See the power of semantics.
Made friends with the roads and the cars again. You know in shawshank redemption when a very terrified Brooks, after thousands of years in prison, was trying to cross the car infested streets. That was ets in makati av a month ago. Now, I’m back to being the fearless pedestrian that I truly am.
Regained a few pounds. 8 to be exact from the time my plane landed til Sunday morning. I’m getting back on track though. With my no carbs after six and the hip hop abs on the way, I’ll be back to just being deliciously plump from grotesquely overweight in no time.
Reconfigured my formula for happiness. I always thought that the key to happiness is finding the thing that will make me truly happy. Well, as it turns out, there are 3 billion and 84 things I can do and I can try one different thing every day and still not live long enough to get to that ONE thing that will make me happy. I have decided not to live like that anymore. I am reversing it. Cos there is already something I am doing right now and I will find my happiness doing it RIGHT NOW.
Re-chumming myself. Well first thing that needed done was fix that nonsense with Adi. Actually that’s the only thing that needed doing. I love me chums. It's not the same of course. We're hardly complete anymore but I believe that chums is more than a collection of people. It has its own separate identity. It is a, or maybe even the, spirit of fun and good times. And just like God, when 2 or 3 are gathered in its name, there is chums in the midst of them.
Sowed the seeds of good food. In the middle of figuring everything out. But when its all done… well I actually don’t think I’m at liberty to talk about it just yet so let this suffice until I can – ours will be building more than just a house.
See why I’m flying - there’s an oyster on my plate. It’s fresh, juicy and delicious. And more importantly, its all mine!
I feel invincible. I feel almighty. I feel immortal.
I am driving on a highway and the only thing ahead is a magical world of endless posibilidades!
WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!
Okay, seriously.
It’s been a little over a month since I got back from my radical sabbatical. I have since done the following;
Benevolently reclaimed my room. My grandma moved in while I was away and moved out when I got back. I did not ask her to. She graciously did so. And I never could say no to her.
Went back to work. In the same old place with the same old job wearing the same old clothes… except it feels absolutely new. Here’s the deal – I left a miserable job in march and came back to a promising career in october. See the power of semantics.
Made friends with the roads and the cars again. You know in shawshank redemption when a very terrified Brooks, after thousands of years in prison, was trying to cross the car infested streets. That was ets in makati av a month ago. Now, I’m back to being the fearless pedestrian that I truly am.
Regained a few pounds. 8 to be exact from the time my plane landed til Sunday morning. I’m getting back on track though. With my no carbs after six and the hip hop abs on the way, I’ll be back to just being deliciously plump from grotesquely overweight in no time.
Reconfigured my formula for happiness. I always thought that the key to happiness is finding the thing that will make me truly happy. Well, as it turns out, there are 3 billion and 84 things I can do and I can try one different thing every day and still not live long enough to get to that ONE thing that will make me happy. I have decided not to live like that anymore. I am reversing it. Cos there is already something I am doing right now and I will find my happiness doing it RIGHT NOW.
Re-chumming myself. Well first thing that needed done was fix that nonsense with Adi. Actually that’s the only thing that needed doing. I love me chums. It's not the same of course. We're hardly complete anymore but I believe that chums is more than a collection of people. It has its own separate identity. It is a, or maybe even the, spirit of fun and good times. And just like God, when 2 or 3 are gathered in its name, there is chums in the midst of them.
Sowed the seeds of good food. In the middle of figuring everything out. But when its all done… well I actually don’t think I’m at liberty to talk about it just yet so let this suffice until I can – ours will be building more than just a house.
See why I’m flying - there’s an oyster on my plate. It’s fresh, juicy and delicious. And more importantly, its all mine!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
and the countdown begins...
i'll be home in 18 days. God. 18. That's nothing. Its three episodes of heroes. three trips to church. 1 friggin payday.
I am so excited. Sooooooo excited. So excited i wake up giddy every morning. Absolutely giddy. Now theres a word I hardly ever use but I'm using it now because thats exactly how I wake up every morning. Gi-effing-ddy!!!!
I cant wait to see my mama and papa. Cant wait to eat my sister's adobo. cant wait to hug michael. cant wait to listen to bobs jokes. cant wait to eat anything with pats. cant wait to shout at my lola (she's kinda deaf as most old people are). cant wait to hear slugger bark again.
And to have friends!!! by god how wonderful to have friends again.
And yet... (well of course may and yet, ganyan ang life eh, parang coin, may two sides)
I'm sure I will miss this place i have grudginly called home these past months. I will miss the independence, the solitude, the walks (with or without a flashlight), the dogs, the tricyles, the motorbikes, my veranda. I think I'll even miss doing the laundry.
I love this place. I think a small part of me will always think of this place as a sanctuary. A place i can run to to find some peace, some balance. But as sure as I was six months ago of moving, I'm just as sure now of leaving. And I'm happy to say that I do so still in love with the place.
Everytime I see the beach, everytime i watch the sunset, everytime i step in the water, I still find myself in complete awe. How beautiful naman talaga this place. I mean I know people who've been to the maldives will probably laugh at me for thinking this is paradise noh but to them i say "eh i havent been to the maldives eh. why ba?"
Anyway, while I am so excited about going home, Im also a wee bit scawed.
And I dont know what scares me the most actually - that things have changed too much or that they have not at all.
I am so excited. Sooooooo excited. So excited i wake up giddy every morning. Absolutely giddy. Now theres a word I hardly ever use but I'm using it now because thats exactly how I wake up every morning. Gi-effing-ddy!!!!
I cant wait to see my mama and papa. Cant wait to eat my sister's adobo. cant wait to hug michael. cant wait to listen to bobs jokes. cant wait to eat anything with pats. cant wait to shout at my lola (she's kinda deaf as most old people are). cant wait to hear slugger bark again.
And to have friends!!! by god how wonderful to have friends again.
And yet... (well of course may and yet, ganyan ang life eh, parang coin, may two sides)
I'm sure I will miss this place i have grudginly called home these past months. I will miss the independence, the solitude, the walks (with or without a flashlight), the dogs, the tricyles, the motorbikes, my veranda. I think I'll even miss doing the laundry.
I love this place. I think a small part of me will always think of this place as a sanctuary. A place i can run to to find some peace, some balance. But as sure as I was six months ago of moving, I'm just as sure now of leaving. And I'm happy to say that I do so still in love with the place.
Everytime I see the beach, everytime i watch the sunset, everytime i step in the water, I still find myself in complete awe. How beautiful naman talaga this place. I mean I know people who've been to the maldives will probably laugh at me for thinking this is paradise noh but to them i say "eh i havent been to the maldives eh. why ba?"
Anyway, while I am so excited about going home, Im also a wee bit scawed.
And I dont know what scares me the most actually - that things have changed too much or that they have not at all.
QUOTE, UNQUOTE
"I don't care if you get mad at me or if your fans get mad at me. I will tell you the truth to help you get better. I will tell you what you need to hear to make your dreams come true. I will sacrifice myself.... for you."
- said a very serious Tyra Banks to her supermodel hopefuls.
YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! HUY! MAG HULOSDILI KA TY. HINDI MO PASAN ANG WORLD. WAG KANG MAGPAKA HERO EFFECT.
"(someone or other from some band) is a very good compositionist."
- said VJ heart evangelista on myx
I KNOW I'VE BEEN LIVING IN A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE CALL ME MIGHTY BUT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MORE OBVIOUS AND UNDOUBTEDLY MORE POPULAR, MORE CORRECT 'COMPOSER.'
"A rich person is not someone who has more but someone who needs less."
- some anonymous email
I REALLY REALLY BELIEVE THAT. OR WANT TO.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
"SUPPLIES!!!" yelled the excited chinese man....
I have to say, Leoy's weekend surprise visit is easily one of my favorite boracay moments.
I was talking about the ayurvedic ingredients of one of our treatments to a couple of koreans when, from the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar tall and lanky :-) figure approaching. I look up and there he was, LEOYAUC!!! I really just left the two pikis and let out a very 22 thousand decibel "eeeeeeeh!!!"
My geads, hindi ko kinaya yon.
So we had merienda and I made him and fool try my favorite ginger slush and then I met up with them that night to enjoy his pasalubong for me :-) FUN FUN FUN. except, labas ng labas. pero chikka na rin.
The following day, they were slathered with papaya-pineapple jam all over and covered in banana leaves. hee hee. they did not enjoy that. And then he treated me to dinner because he said I'm poor. (for the record, I am not, was never, will never be poor. okay universe?)
The next day, we ate much tinapa at palomaria. And then he left and i cried like a baby to tracy. To quote a very sobbing ets "I'm always nalang left behind...huhuhuhu"
anyway, It was all so fun.
Tomorrow, tracy will be here naman. Woooo hoooo!!! i cant wait to talk to her face to face.
I was talking about the ayurvedic ingredients of one of our treatments to a couple of koreans when, from the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar tall and lanky :-) figure approaching. I look up and there he was, LEOYAUC!!! I really just left the two pikis and let out a very 22 thousand decibel "eeeeeeeh!!!"
My geads, hindi ko kinaya yon.
So we had merienda and I made him and fool try my favorite ginger slush and then I met up with them that night to enjoy his pasalubong for me :-) FUN FUN FUN. except, labas ng labas. pero chikka na rin.
The following day, they were slathered with papaya-pineapple jam all over and covered in banana leaves. hee hee. they did not enjoy that. And then he treated me to dinner because he said I'm poor. (for the record, I am not, was never, will never be poor. okay universe?)
The next day, we ate much tinapa at palomaria. And then he left and i cried like a baby to tracy. To quote a very sobbing ets "I'm always nalang left behind...huhuhuhu"
anyway, It was all so fun.
Tomorrow, tracy will be here naman. Woooo hoooo!!! i cant wait to talk to her face to face.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
Dear Manila,
Greetings from the island paradise of Boracay! It's only been two weeks since I've seen you last and already I miss your smog and your traffic and your krispy kreme. Anyway, I just thought I'd write to you a little about this small provincial place that I've left you for.
Its been a little over four months since I've moved here and I think, by virtue of the number of choriburgers I've eaten and the motorbike rides I've taken, I have earned the right to call myself a local. As such, I've noticed a couple of things that might have escaped the eye of the many tourists that come visit and I feel duty bound to report them to you para hindi ka masyadong mainsecure na parang mas mahal ng tao tong islang eto kesa sa syudad mo.
1. Gas stations. There are no neon lights, no treats or selects, no gas pumps here. What we have are nipa huts that line the road with different sizes of coca cola bottles filled with pink gasoline. As your tricycle pulls up, a helpful attendant in shorts and sando (sometimes) rushes to greet you and take your order. Your driver chooses between the one liter, 1.5 or 2 (it also comes in sakto sizes for the poor) and your eager attendant gets the order, opens your gas tank and fills it up. Miski hindi high tech, full service pa rin po naman. So okay na rin.
2. Safety is not cool. Especially not when you're riding the motor. Please note that it is not cool to hold on to the driver (and also very gross). You just hold on to the thin metal thing at the back with one hand and pretend you dont care that the driver is probably violating 24 safety violations. And you know, just yesterday, I rode the tricycle with 8 other people. Can you imagine cramming 9 bodies into a 1.5 meters by 1 meter piece of rusting metal running 20kph?
3. paranaque is to taxi drivers what angol is to tricycle drivers. Paranaque is where i live in the city and taxi drivers avoid it like the plague. Angol is where i live here and tricycle drivers avoid it like the plague. What the fuck man?!?
Anyway, I dreamt of you again last night. You're airport has drive-through ticket sale booths na raw. I wouldn't be surprised if thats true. You have immense potential manila. yuck.
Anyway, i miss you and I will see you soon.
Love,
ettie
P.S.
Ilan beses na kitang iniwan
Nilayasan at ibang pinuntahan.....
Its been a little over four months since I've moved here and I think, by virtue of the number of choriburgers I've eaten and the motorbike rides I've taken, I have earned the right to call myself a local. As such, I've noticed a couple of things that might have escaped the eye of the many tourists that come visit and I feel duty bound to report them to you para hindi ka masyadong mainsecure na parang mas mahal ng tao tong islang eto kesa sa syudad mo.
1. Gas stations. There are no neon lights, no treats or selects, no gas pumps here. What we have are nipa huts that line the road with different sizes of coca cola bottles filled with pink gasoline. As your tricycle pulls up, a helpful attendant in shorts and sando (sometimes) rushes to greet you and take your order. Your driver chooses between the one liter, 1.5 or 2 (it also comes in sakto sizes for the poor) and your eager attendant gets the order, opens your gas tank and fills it up. Miski hindi high tech, full service pa rin po naman. So okay na rin.
2. Safety is not cool. Especially not when you're riding the motor. Please note that it is not cool to hold on to the driver (and also very gross). You just hold on to the thin metal thing at the back with one hand and pretend you dont care that the driver is probably violating 24 safety violations. And you know, just yesterday, I rode the tricycle with 8 other people. Can you imagine cramming 9 bodies into a 1.5 meters by 1 meter piece of rusting metal running 20kph?
3. paranaque is to taxi drivers what angol is to tricycle drivers. Paranaque is where i live in the city and taxi drivers avoid it like the plague. Angol is where i live here and tricycle drivers avoid it like the plague. What the fuck man?!?
Anyway, I dreamt of you again last night. You're airport has drive-through ticket sale booths na raw. I wouldn't be surprised if thats true. You have immense potential manila. yuck.
Anyway, i miss you and I will see you soon.
Love,
ettie
P.S.
Ilan beses na kitang iniwan
Nilayasan at ibang pinuntahan.....
Thursday, June 14, 2007
"HINDI KAMI HEAVY!" - ETS, GI (isang pagsasaulat ni Mike Enriquez)
Boracay, Philippines, June 14, 2007 --- Mistulang mga butanding sa mata ng iba, taas noong ikinaila ng magkaibigang gigi at ettie ang kumakalat na balitang sila raw ay heavy. Ika ng dalawa na sila umanoy magagaang... kasama.
Ani ni ettie na sa isang buwang pagsasama ng dalawang halos araw araw sa boracay ay naging maaliwalas at masaya ang bawat sandali. Hindi raw katulad ng kamakailan lang nasirang relasyon nila ruffa at ylmas. Wala naman raw naganap na tutukan ng baril, pangunguryente o pagmomodelo kay ricky reyes sa kanilang relasyon.
Ang pinakamahirap na raw na addyasments ni ettie ay ang pagtulog ng alas otso, samantalang kay gigi naman ay ang hindi pagsara ni ettie ng ilaw sa banyo kahit wala nang gagamit nito.
***
Tomorrow, the only family I have in Boracay is leaving na. Pity naman ets. Babay mare.
Ani ni ettie na sa isang buwang pagsasama ng dalawang halos araw araw sa boracay ay naging maaliwalas at masaya ang bawat sandali. Hindi raw katulad ng kamakailan lang nasirang relasyon nila ruffa at ylmas. Wala naman raw naganap na tutukan ng baril, pangunguryente o pagmomodelo kay ricky reyes sa kanilang relasyon.
Ang pinakamahirap na raw na addyasments ni ettie ay ang pagtulog ng alas otso, samantalang kay gigi naman ay ang hindi pagsara ni ettie ng ilaw sa banyo kahit wala nang gagamit nito.
***
Tomorrow, the only family I have in Boracay is leaving na. Pity naman ets. Babay mare.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Tagged!
Tagged! This is what you are supposed to do. Cut and paste if you decide to participate in the tagging game.
Each player of this game starts off by giving six weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own six weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names.
After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.
1. I am a morbid person.
When people are late or when they're not where they're supposed to be, my first thought is always "My god they've died." When i was in high school, my parents promised that they'd be home by 12 so when they still weren't home at 1, I started crying cos I thought something horrible had happened. So i called Makati Medical to ask if someone had brought in marivic and mari. And then one time naman, the asshole went to malate with friends and I couldnt reach him from 11pm til 3pm. Off ang cellphone. So ang thoughts ko imbes na typical selosa chick na fuck nagloloko to, "oh my god he's dead." So i cry and cry and really was just waiting for his ghost to come to my bed and kiss me goodbye.
2. I was absolutely against me carrying take-out food in public places in 2002.
I knew that people will stop and stare and say "kaya pala." So when I absolutely had to, I walked as fast as I could praying that people wont see. But the truth is, when you're 205 pounds, people see.
3. My greatest fear is losing my teeth.
Okay, maybe its only second to death, but it scares the shit out of me. One time I was 'drunk' and I fell and hit my head on the floor, the first thing i did was run to the bathroom and check if I still had all of my teeth.
4. I can invent memories. Or steal them. Or have other people invent them for me.
bad memory plus vivid imagination equals;
a. Ets claiming experiences to be her own when it "allegedly" happened to someone else pala.
b. Sister making ets believe that she did something she didnt just so sister and middle child brother can laugh behind her back
c. Ets suddenly getting mad at someone because he did something bad to her so she doesn't speak to him for days only to realize later that he only did it IN HER HEAD.
d. All of the above
5. I can make uu at will. And I love it.
When I'm bored, or when I need to kill some time, or when i just want some quiet time, I go to the banyo anytime, anywhere, and make uu. And it is one of the most satisfying thing for me.
6. I had a secret wedding with Mar Roxas.
I spent a good hour of my life daydreaming about marrying Mar Roxas once. From the proposal, to the headlines, to the argument we had because he was insisting that I should make Gaita Fores a bridesmaid, it was a daydream that really took off on its own and ended with me by his side as he takes his oath to be president of the country.
_________________
I tag jenni, dodo, vince, irene, therese, and you whoever you are
Each player of this game starts off by giving six weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own six weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names.
After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.
1. I am a morbid person.
When people are late or when they're not where they're supposed to be, my first thought is always "My god they've died." When i was in high school, my parents promised that they'd be home by 12 so when they still weren't home at 1, I started crying cos I thought something horrible had happened. So i called Makati Medical to ask if someone had brought in marivic and mari. And then one time naman, the asshole went to malate with friends and I couldnt reach him from 11pm til 3pm. Off ang cellphone. So ang thoughts ko imbes na typical selosa chick na fuck nagloloko to, "oh my god he's dead." So i cry and cry and really was just waiting for his ghost to come to my bed and kiss me goodbye.
2. I was absolutely against me carrying take-out food in public places in 2002.
I knew that people will stop and stare and say "kaya pala." So when I absolutely had to, I walked as fast as I could praying that people wont see. But the truth is, when you're 205 pounds, people see.
3. My greatest fear is losing my teeth.
Okay, maybe its only second to death, but it scares the shit out of me. One time I was 'drunk' and I fell and hit my head on the floor, the first thing i did was run to the bathroom and check if I still had all of my teeth.
4. I can invent memories. Or steal them. Or have other people invent them for me.
bad memory plus vivid imagination equals;
a. Ets claiming experiences to be her own when it "allegedly" happened to someone else pala.
b. Sister making ets believe that she did something she didnt just so sister and middle child brother can laugh behind her back
c. Ets suddenly getting mad at someone because he did something bad to her so she doesn't speak to him for days only to realize later that he only did it IN HER HEAD.
d. All of the above
5. I can make uu at will. And I love it.
When I'm bored, or when I need to kill some time, or when i just want some quiet time, I go to the banyo anytime, anywhere, and make uu. And it is one of the most satisfying thing for me.
6. I had a secret wedding with Mar Roxas.
I spent a good hour of my life daydreaming about marrying Mar Roxas once. From the proposal, to the headlines, to the argument we had because he was insisting that I should make Gaita Fores a bridesmaid, it was a daydream that really took off on its own and ended with me by his side as he takes his oath to be president of the country.
_________________
I tag jenni, dodo, vince, irene, therese, and you whoever you are
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Sabi ni brad kay angelina
"I find you in the morning sky, in the sound of children's laughter, in the motion of every stirring wind. I love you."
My geads. kaya ko yon ah.
My geads. kaya ko yon ah.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
When you're standing still,
you are neither chained to a past nor bound to a future.
You are just exactly where you are.
And sometimes, where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be.
promise hindi ako sabog. thoughts ko lang to while yoga-ing the other day.
You are just exactly where you are.
And sometimes, where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be.
promise hindi ako sabog. thoughts ko lang to while yoga-ing the other day.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Pats, my alcoholic brother,
was here for 4 short days.
We both cried when he left.
I miss my family terribly.
Even slugger.
We both cried when he left.
I miss my family terribly.
Even slugger.
Monday, May 14, 2007
My Life in Bullets
- Since I've last blogged, I've been on an emotional roller coaster that, thankfully, has had more ups than downs. The biggest cause of "wooooo hooooooo" of course was the long-awaited chums visit that turned out to be one of the funnest chumsperiences ever.
- The funniest moment from this trip for me involves a very sober gigi parading around the room half naked in front of everybody. I wish I had her confidence sometimes.
- My favorite memory is saturday happy hour at nigi nigi with all my chums present and happy and very very drunk.
- Despite popular opinion, I enjoy tracy just as much as I do adi.
- Gigi has officially moved in. She just got the sweetest deal and although i'm a teeny bit envious, I am oh so happy for her. I cant wait to see her in action. I plan to shadow her on my next dayoff and eat much and much for free.
- Pats is coming! wooo hooo!!! i'm so excited to have family around you have no idea. And he's bringing all the heroes eps that I've missed.
- I moved out of gigi's place today. Figured she needs to experience the island by herself for a while. So i'm going back to my crappy little room which i sorta kinda miss. I'm just scared that the heat will kill me since I've been sleeping with airconditioning for the past ten days. Bahala na. At least I can keep the volume of the tv on audible levels again.
- I've been restless at work again. I dont like the fact that I seem to have become the kind of person who's never happy with what they have. This is so anti-ets. But I think a big part of this journey to self discovery that I'm on is learning to take chances and do whats best for me despite who gets affected. I mean, ika nga ni tracy, madami na akong pinalungkot sa pagpunta ko dito eh ngayon pa ba ako prepreno (or something to that effect.)
- Okay, there was just this litlle korean man who passed by with the funniest looking hat. hay... koreans. God bless them talaga.
- I love monica. I realized last night that she is my bowl of soup in this island.
- For the first time since I got here, I missed manila today. I miss being able to ride in cars and just watch people hurry off like rats to be somewhere else. Kanina I imagined I was in a cab in shaw boulevard (bakit diba? hindi ko rin alam) waiting for the red light to turn green. I miss tall buildings and malls and supermarkets. I miss the mrt and kfc and movies.
- Wise people do stupid things. That's just how it is. Hows that na?
- I miss my mommie soooo much. I want to go home to hug her miski one second lang and then I can come back here again na.
- The funniest moment from this trip for me involves a very sober gigi parading around the room half naked in front of everybody. I wish I had her confidence sometimes.
- My favorite memory is saturday happy hour at nigi nigi with all my chums present and happy and very very drunk.
- Despite popular opinion, I enjoy tracy just as much as I do adi.
- Gigi has officially moved in. She just got the sweetest deal and although i'm a teeny bit envious, I am oh so happy for her. I cant wait to see her in action. I plan to shadow her on my next dayoff and eat much and much for free.
- Pats is coming! wooo hooo!!! i'm so excited to have family around you have no idea. And he's bringing all the heroes eps that I've missed.
- I moved out of gigi's place today. Figured she needs to experience the island by herself for a while. So i'm going back to my crappy little room which i sorta kinda miss. I'm just scared that the heat will kill me since I've been sleeping with airconditioning for the past ten days. Bahala na. At least I can keep the volume of the tv on audible levels again.
- I've been restless at work again. I dont like the fact that I seem to have become the kind of person who's never happy with what they have. This is so anti-ets. But I think a big part of this journey to self discovery that I'm on is learning to take chances and do whats best for me despite who gets affected. I mean, ika nga ni tracy, madami na akong pinalungkot sa pagpunta ko dito eh ngayon pa ba ako prepreno (or something to that effect.)
- Okay, there was just this litlle korean man who passed by with the funniest looking hat. hay... koreans. God bless them talaga.
- I love monica. I realized last night that she is my bowl of soup in this island.
- For the first time since I got here, I missed manila today. I miss being able to ride in cars and just watch people hurry off like rats to be somewhere else. Kanina I imagined I was in a cab in shaw boulevard (bakit diba? hindi ko rin alam) waiting for the red light to turn green. I miss tall buildings and malls and supermarkets. I miss the mrt and kfc and movies.
- Wise people do stupid things. That's just how it is. Hows that na?
- I miss my mommie soooo much. I want to go home to hug her miski one second lang and then I can come back here again na.
Monday, April 23, 2007
No judgments, just an honest question: can happiness outrun karma?
His wife left with their two boys, the youngest being only 3 months old. She made him choose and he chose. Happiness won. It won over family.
Now he walks the beach with the woman he's been passionately in love with for the past 6 months. And you can tell from the smile on his face that he lives with his choice with no regret, no guilt, no remorse.
Now he walks the beach with the woman he's been passionately in love with for the past 6 months. And you can tell from the smile on his face that he lives with his choice with no regret, no guilt, no remorse.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Sabi ni deesj...
... that she was looking at our pictures from new years and it hit her that I dont live in Manila anymore and that it's so weird because people are already getting used to not having me around.
I've been suspecting as much. I've been expecting it really. And although i never really thought that life would actually stand still while waiting for my return, hearing it breaks my heart a little. okay a lot.
oh well.
I've been suspecting as much. I've been expecting it really. And although i never really thought that life would actually stand still while waiting for my return, hearing it breaks my heart a little. okay a lot.
oh well.
Life with adi....
... is just better in ways i will not even try to attempt to explain. But you can ask anyone who knows him and they will understand exactly what i mean.
Everything just looks better, and feels better, and tastes better, and smells better, and sounds better.
And when he's gone, the world is just... duller.
world - adi = dull
ets world = dull
Everything just looks better, and feels better, and tastes better, and smells better, and sounds better.
And when he's gone, the world is just... duller.
world - adi = dull
ets world = dull
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